The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Trump is the guy who made it to the final round of interviews and is finally getting asked about all the shit he made up on his résumé— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) September 27, 2016
[Hillary eloquently answers every question]— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 25, 2016
[Trump doesn't call Hillary a cunt]
News: No clear winner in the first debate.
I hope while you are in your 20s you appreciate the fact that you can look in different directions without getting neck pain.— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) September 28, 2016
I knew it would never work out between us when he asked if I wanted to split dessert.— Erica (@SCbchbum) September 25, 2016
me: writes article on topic with no real emotional pull— Rachel Charlene (@RachelCharleneL) September 30, 2016
white men: have strong emotional reaction
white men: why are women so emotional
If I had a time machine I'd probably spend a lot of trips in it just going back 15 minutes to re-eat meals.— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) September 26, 2016
Hillary Clinton was interrupted 51 times during the debate. This is what's commonly referred to by every woman in your office as "Tuesday."— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) September 28, 2016
This election is taking up so much mind space, I can barely plan my dogs Halloween costumes.— Lauren Sivan (@LaurenSivan) September 27, 2016
I want to Freaky Friday into a man and see what it feels like to be overvalued and praised for being competent to above average at my job.— KB (@KaraRBrown) September 27, 2016
I would like to think I have strong convictions, but I also know I could probably be bribed with a free pizza.— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 27, 2016
The work of feminism will not be completed until we are all given free black hair elastics to wear on our right wrists "just in case."— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) September 28, 2016
Burning my palate on a cheese quesadilla this morning makes me realize that sometimes it's the ones you love that hurt you the most.— Arielle (@jewfacekilla) September 30, 2016
My mother lands Sunday night, which means I have 48 hours to clean my apartment, lose 10 pounds, and write a New York Times bestseller.— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) September 30, 2016
Men re No Scrubs, probably:— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) September 28, 2016
"Well she said I don't want no scrubs, which is actually a double negative meaning she wants me to talk to her"
Me: Okay i think i got these breakouts under control— Hoetic Justice (@_Kimbabwe_) September 30, 2016
My skin: pic.twitter.com/C0Nn90Bp9C
If you're a male pundit critiquing a woman's weight you should have to do it shirtless in front of an audience of women three rosés deep— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) September 29, 2016
[Spelling bee]— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) September 27, 2016
Me: Your word is misery.
"Can you describe the word?"
Me: *points to self*
*gets on elevator* *presses 5*— Julia Bush (@jabush) September 29, 2016
"so dude my best buddy's bachelor party last week..."
Me: *grabs a donut from conference room* Incredible powerpoint, Greg— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 29, 2016
"Excuse me ma'am, do you work here?"
Me: *grabs another donut & runs*