The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
get in loser we're exercising our first amendment right to protest— Ziwe (@ziwe) September 24, 2017
i am fairly certain if we all combine our bed bath & beyond coupons it would legally allow us, the people, to impeach trump— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) September 25, 2017
*dropping my 6y/o off at school*— maura quint (@behindyourback) September 25, 2017
Administrator: Happy Monday!
6y/o, angry whispering to me: what does that mean?!!
the year is 2027. rihanna &her brand have seized the means of production from corporate america. we have universal healthcare. fenty health.— virgo queen (@EFFLORESCENE) September 25, 2017
why is it ok for adults to dress in the jerseys of their team when they go to games but weird when i show up to the doctor dressed in scrubs— Erin 🎶Gloria🎶 Ryan (@morninggloria) September 25, 2017
sorry I didn't text u back!my phone+willingness to appease toxic ppl at expense of my energy,peace of mind& freedom of essence died lol x— bolu babalola. (@BeeBabs) September 26, 2017
Before coffee: Annoyed by everything.— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 25, 2017
After coffee: Annoyed by everything but with the energy to complain about it.
I’ve made a hard decision.— Gabby Sidibe (@GabbySidibe) September 27, 2017
I’m buying a leash to take my cat on walks around the neighborhood.
Please respect my privacy at this time.
Website: "your order had ship---"— death the kid (@BreeeCass) September 25, 2017
Which is worse burning in Hell or rotting in Hell? Asking for a witch.— ElissaSchappell (@ElissaSchappell) September 28, 2017
literally my only talent was being able to think of tweets exactly 140 characters long. i don't know if I will be able to alter this to 280.— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 26, 2017
Telling a girl she's sexy is flattering, but telling her that the fall of capitalism will be swift and without mercy means so much more.— daftpunk praxis (@anamarinamri) September 26, 2017
Welp I gotta be up in four hours so I guess this is the perfect time to do my annual lurking session of people I don't talk to anymore— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) September 28, 2017
"your boyfriend doesn't deserve you" = me whenever I see literally any woman with a boyfriend— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) September 26, 2017
me after reading two tweets that were longer than 140 characters pic.twitter.com/tfWop3Mtzv— tired (@ugsadkid) September 27, 2017
Man next to me on this flight just dripped a drink on my leg by accident then said he'd wipe it off if I want.— Amber Tamblyn (@ambertamblyn) September 26, 2017
Sir, don't make me Op-Ed.
"I'm doing me" is code for I am giving myself free reign to act like a complete psychopath— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) September 27, 2017
fuck it. i might as well put a mastercard that earns travel points in my swear jar— Erica (@SCbchbum) September 27, 2017
2007: i'm drunk, gonna call my ex— keely flaherty (@flahertykeely) September 27, 2017
2017: i'm drunk, gonna call my senator
You know it's time for new bathroom lighting at home when you look in the work mirrors and you have sunscreen all over your face— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) September 27, 2017