The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets Of The Week newsletter here.
Last minute costume idea: put on a trash bag and go as 2017.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) October 28, 2017
*wakes up* wow i need a nap
— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) October 31, 2017
The best part of indictment day is that it kicks off cuffing season.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) October 30, 2017
I refer to any time between 1994 and now as "the other day"
— Olive Gravy (@offbeatoliv) October 28, 2017
I am glad the Lion King is being rebooted so we can remember Scar can only be President for so long before Beyoncé shows up & fixes it
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) November 2, 2017
sometimes i stare at my coffee in the morning in the hopes of turning it into whiskey with my mind
— Dana Liebelson (@dliebelson) November 1, 2017
I'm not having kids so I guess I'll have to settle for the only other true mark of adulthood: a Costco membership
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) November 3, 2017
i'm going to make this my lock screen pic.twitter.com/8AttHdPkQv
— hannah moskowitz (@hannahmosk) November 3, 2017
*door bell rings*
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) October 31, 2017
small child: trick or treat!!
me: um. wow. i didn't think anyone would come?
*child stares*
me: here's a la croix
it's not called the lion king anymore. if beyonces in it, it's called the lion queen. it's nala's movie now
— Ziwe (@ziwe) November 2, 2017
"We have learned that this was done by a Twitter customer support employee who did this on the employee’s last day" pic.twitter.com/mVB2Pwc8rv
— Jessica Winter (@winterjessica) November 3, 2017
does it count as seasonal affective disorder if you only cry when you see obama
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) November 1, 2017
She began that writing day as she began all writing days, putting her hair into a bun with office supplies.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) November 2, 2017
I love you, FB friends, but if you add me to some ridiculous 7-day post challenge I will delete you, block you, and put a hex on you
— And What a Mom! (@andwhatamom) November 3, 2017
the only plus side to adulthood is finally getting to gossip with your mother
— farwz (@farwzz) October 28, 2017
Men are cancelled for next season amid sexual assault allegations
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) November 1, 2017
my phone just autocorrected "dressing up" to "stressing up" AND THAT DEAR FRIENDS IS THE TRUE MEANING OF HALLOWEEN
— Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) October 31, 2017
can't wait for the weekend so i can flake on all outside plans just to stay home and make multiple soups
— danakil depression (@ethiopienne) November 2, 2017
Ordering my dog one of these to help with my anxiety. HIS. I meant his. His anxiety. Not mine, his. This hilarious thing will help HIM. pic.twitter.com/M8ZeJTWBQH
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) November 1, 2017
Millennials are so busy blaming babyboomers for ruining the environment we forget to give them proper credit for making antibiotics useless.
— Living Marble (@living_marble) November 2, 2017
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