The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets Of The Week newsletter here.
I know I’ve truly grown into a strong powerful woman because I can still literally do anything while crying
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) December 14, 2017
I’m fine. pic.twitter.com/uTyAlSy20k
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) December 14, 2017
Being “upgraded” from window to middle seat is a great metaphor for being a woman. Congrats now you get more rm to accommodate 2 other ppl’s needs
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 11, 2017
So annoying when men think women date for the free dinners. It's like HELLO we're in it to have the correct music choices explained to us
— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) December 11, 2017
Some personal news: I have finally seen a Star War.
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) December 12, 2017
Sorta jealous my baby nephew can make death stares at the family and still be called adorable.
— Julie Jingle Bells Burton 🎄 (@ksujulie) December 13, 2017
me watching yall argue about engagement rings from my safe place of having no good reason to get married. pic.twitter.com/3NYgx6Sfai
— king crissle (@crissles) December 12, 2017
*turns to face 2017*
— Sleighlor Trudon🎅🏻 (@taylortrudon) December 14, 2017
"retire, bitch."
MALE REINDEER LOSE THEIR ANTLERS IN WINTER AND FEMALES DON'T THEREFORE SANTA'S SLEIGH IS ACTUALLY PULLED BY A TEAM OF STRONG, POWERFUL, UNDERRATED WOMEN!!!!! YOU GO, GIRLS!! I SEE YOU!!!
— Cat Reynolds (@catreynoldsnyc) December 11, 2017
I won’t have an opinion on Meghan Markle until she starts wearing fascinators.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 11, 2017
I 👏🏼 FEEL 👏🏼 STRONGLY 👏🏼 ABOUT 👏🏼 fuck is anyone still reading this
— not karley 🎄 (@Itskarleytime) December 13, 2017
NO MONDAY FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER
— Brokey the Christmas Heaux (@brokeymcpoverty) December 11, 2017
it’s like I want to get a Christmas tree but it’s just gonna set off a magical chain of holiday surprises that turn my life upside down and teach me how to love again
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) December 14, 2017
Me saying goodbye to 2017 and henlooo to 2018 pic.twitter.com/LbGt9YDfaf
— sneaky dogfriend (@GrrlGhost) December 11, 2017
my dad has been telling me for years about various friendly encounters with Mike, another resident of his apartment building he really likes and i found out yesterday that Mike is a dog
— monica heisey (@monicaheisey) December 13, 2017
*Builds a fort out of all the Amazon Prime boxes in my house*
— Bianca LaVagina (@AnitaHelmet) December 10, 2017
“actually...” pic.twitter.com/A9wRjWr4Nq
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) November 15, 2017
A snack haiku:
— Christy Havranek (@diopter) December 15, 2017
Some crumbs in my scarf
From crackers I ate today
Not mad about it
please help me my sister just said ed sheeran looks like an imaginary friend and ive stopped breathing.
— x (@thxlxttxrx) December 14, 2017
[shoving glitter glue and felt pens back into my bag, visibly upset] ok look all I'm saying is maybe you guys shouldn't have called it a 'craft brewery' because people are gonna get the wrong idea and lemme tell you Karen this has been a big let down
— Gracie Hoos (@cottoncandaddy) December 13, 2017
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