Sometimes Ashley cried. Other times she kissed boys. Other times boys were mean to her. Most of the time, she cried.
1-on-1 with Ben C.
First Ashley took Ben C. to a dance studio to learn a routine she'd made up. Then, they went to hang out in a park and Ashley told him to get up and dance with her. Suddenly all these people joined in. Cue: Flash Mob! Ben C. honestly didn't seem that surprised and as flash mobs go, it was pretty lame. The group dance party continued with a concert, where the crowd peer-pressured them into kissing. And yes, Ashley has now danced in 3 of 3 episodes this season.
At dinner Ben started rambling manically at about 100 words a minute. Case in point: "I think my wife deserves to feel like unbelievably special about how I feel about her ... I have all these thoughts like, I have all these thoughts that I know are like the kind of thoughts I'd have if we met in any other situation." I don't know what he's on, but he needs to cut back.
He told Ashley he wanted to live in a "bubble" with his future wife and that he had "unrealistic" expectations of relationships. Those unrealistic expectations won him a rose and Ashley called the date perfect (because she calls everything perfect). And then there was smooching.
The Boy Who Cried Mask
Back at the house, Jeff said "Wearing this mask has been an amazing, life changing experience" (Uh ... what?) and decided it was time to take it off. He took Ashley aside, told her she was amazing and that he had feelings for her. Then he revealed his face, which Ashley thought was odd but cute. The other guys were underwhelmed by his beauty. I'm not going to judge his looks because I learned a valuable lesson from Jeff about judging others. Besides, it's mean to make fun of the worst looking guy on the show.
Group Date
The guys learned they had to participate in a comedy roast of Ashley. Ames was traumatized, Jeff felt confident about a Backstreet Boys joke idea and Bad Luck Willy was excited for the "huge opportunity" because his dream is to be a stand-up comedian. (Do I smell a wrong reason?)
Lucas played it safe and only made fun of the other guys. Ryan bombed. Ames did a Jeff impersonation, complete with a mask prop. A bunch of the guys made jokes about Ashley's flat chest and about her time on the Bachelor. Bentley made fun of her boobs, but complimented her butt, which I guess canceled each other out? Bad Luck Willy called the other guys "soft" and hit harder, saying he went on The Bachelorette to meet Chantal or Emily.
Afterward, Ashley cried in a corner. Bad News Bentley decided he couldn't "pass up the opportunity to mess with her head" so off he went to console her. She told him her biggest insecurity was that all the guys really wanted Emily. (Bentley has said much multiple times to the camera.) He complimented her body and laughed his best Butt-head creepy laugh. She said she loved "the way he thinks" and his realness.
The after party was not much of a party. Ashley cried and told the guys her feelings were hurt. Bad Luck Will told Ashley "there's no way I can make it up to you" so the only thing to do was pack up and go home. And by that, he meant go back to the house and mope about what happened, not actually leave. Ashley was upset BLW didn't try to comfort her. Luckily, First Impression Ryan made out with her until she felt better.
Ashley confronted Bentley about Michelle's accusation that he was there for the wrong reasons. She said she had feelings for him, but was worried he could hurt her. Bentley said she shouldn't trust Michelle and assured Ash they were on the "same page." Ashley said with Bentley, she felt "warm ... secure ... protected" like she "could trust him forever." Ryan got the date rose for his positive (kissing) energy and the loss made Bentley decide it was time to check out and leave the show.
Bentley Badness
The next day Ashley said she "completely fell in love with Bentley" the night before, and thought he was The Guy. Meanwhile, Bentley packed his bags. He told the other dudes he was leaving because of his daughter, but assured the camera it was because he was "not really into Ashley." "I played everyone," he bragged, That's something that's never been done before, so." So what? So now you will totally end up in the Guinness Book of World Records. Good job BNB!
He showed up at Ashley's, and told he was leaving because of his daughter. Ashley cried and said she'd pictured him being there in the end and he said he did too. Cut to him telling the camera he was faking it with her and just found her crying "annoying." He told her "even if I'm not coming back like. I still wanna keep the dot dot there" ... just to mess with her more? After he left, Ashley got into bed and between pained sobs said she was "scared it's not gonna work." (But The Bachelor/ette always works. Always! )
1-on-1 with JP
JP showed up at Ashley's house with flowers and assured her he was "in this for the right reasons." They had dinner and then got comfortable -- they put on sweat pants and Ashley even put glasses on! -- and drank wine by the fire. She thanked him for letting her have a bad day, gave him a rose and took the glasses off so they could make out. She decided she'd pick "JP over Bentley, in the kiss department."
Harrison Heart to Heart
For the rose party, Ashley dressed up in her best Vegas showgirl attire. She squeezed herself into a tiny shiny silver dress and kept all that exposed skin warm with a massive necklace. Even though she couldn't walk properly in the outfit, she somehow managed to sit down and chat with Chris.
Chris Harrison is so perceptive. He told Ash, "I can tell, in your eyes right now that you are hurting and you're like this close to tears"... maybe because she looked miserable and her eyes were literally filling with tears? She told him she was broken-hearted and loved Bentley. Chris thought she only felt that way because Bad News B was forbidden. He said if Bentley was a real man, he would have moved "heaven and earth" to be with Ashley.
Ashley was like "who would have thought this, huh?" (Um ... anyone who'd seen The Bachelorette in the last 2 years?) She decided to cancel the Rose Party because of all the emotional trauma.
Rose Ceremony
Despite bringing Ashley to tears at the roast, Bad Luck Willy got a rose. (Maybe he's Good Luck Willy now?) It should be noted that while Ashley was dressed up as a disco ball, Ames was dressed up as a GI in a 1940s musical and Ben F. wore a bow-tie. Both guys got roses. Potential Future Husbands take note: to win her heart, kiss her, make her cry or dress up in silly costume.
Booted: Chris D. and Jeff who threw his mask in the fire.
Ashley ended the episode by telling the guys, "Stick with it and have faith in this cuz [sic] I KNOW it works." I know too, Ashley. I know!