COMEDY

The Bios We Assume You'd Find On The TrumpSingles.Com Dating Site

"Must love dog whistles!"

TrumpSingles.com is a real thing that someone spent their time creating. It’s a website for people who believe in Donald Trump’s policies ― whatever those may be at any given moment. 

And regardless of your political beliefs, we want you to find love! Feel free to use these quips in your own TrumpSingles.com profile. 

 

“I don’t want someone who’s on the fence about me. I want someone who’s going to sit on the fence with me and make sure those Mexicans don’t get over!”

“I need a woman who wants to make my sandwiches great again!”

“Let’s travel the entire (non-Muslim) world together!”

“I love trying new things that most closely fit the way I already am!”

“Must love reading! My faves are Stephen King, Game of Thrones, and weekly lists of crimes committed by illegal immigrants!”

“Dog person all the way! I do not like cats or people on government assistance.”

“I need someone with a bigly heart! Preferably from a hunted African animal on the brink of extinction!”

“Looking for a soulmate who knows how to shoot a gun, catch a fish, and process urine into drinking water for an anti-government compound.”

“No tree-huggers, thanks! Climate change is a hoax! I love animals and the outdoors!”

“Not looking for a hookup. I need something more meaningful and long-term. You should be kind and charitable, someone who follows Jesus’ example. Because the white race is under attack.” 

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