The Most Powerful Way to Alleviate Suffering

(Photo credit: Peter J. Hughes)

Do you know someone who's experienced a sudden loss? A child who is struggling with the cruel behavior of other kids at school? Someone who has lost all desire to participate in life? Are you wrestling with your own "demons"?

Whatever the case may be, someone is suffering, you want to help, and you just don't know what to say or what to do. Perhaps you feel that what you've offered just isn't enough. You feel powerless.

I've experienced both sides of this coin, and I learned that the most powerful action you can take when someone is in crisis is this:

Remember who you are and affirm the same in them. Hold their reflection until they remember.

You are already whole and complete. You are Love. You are Spirit living the gift of human incarnation. You are eternal.

(Photo credit: Suzy DiMinno)

Here's another way to look at it:

You, authentic you, is like a molecule of water -- pure, whole and complete. It can get all gunked up but never contaminated.

Did you know that you can take sewage, run it through a water purification plant, and on the other end of that plant, drink clean fresh water from a drinking fountain?

Well, we're like that molecule of water -- no matter how gunked up we get, the purity of our core remains untouched. It's just a matter of remembering that. And oh how easy it is to forget! That's where suffering lies.

For me, trauma was the catalyst for my memory loss. After my mother died, I emotionally shut down. Being that emotions are energy in motion and need to flow, mine got stagnant creating energetic density throughout my entire system. As time went by, I accumulated more density until I forgot my true nature (think molecule of water) and instead believed that I was the gunk, the sewage, if you will.

I truly lost sight of who I was until I journeyed through my own "purification process."

It was my fellow human beings who helped me remember. Those I trusted held space for me as I navigated back to my authentic self. They didn't try to fix me or give me advice. They simply let me be, allowing me the space to grieve. As a result, all the emotions that needed and wanted to be expressed, washed up and out of my body, leaving me feeling alive again.

No fixing or saving required. I just needed to remember who I was.

So, how do you help someone who is suffering?

Remember who you are and affirm the same in them. Trust that the next right action step will come to you. Listen from your heart, and hold space for them as they talk, share, grieve, express and let it all hang out.

Love the fear. Love the anger. Love the shame. Love the sadness.

Grant them the state of being.

No judgments. No attachments.

Just Love.

Love dissolves all blockages.

And in the process, respect that regardless of the outcome, your fellow human being's journey is their journey, and your love makes a difference -- no matter what.