"No sense fighting 'what is'. It's a lot easier to relax and do the best you can."
Those words were my response to Kim's email that said "I just called and found out that I do have to report for service tomorrow. I don't want to go! I have to be there at 8 a.m."
Kim's week started in the way it always does. Sunday followed by Monday, with each new day lined up in the correct order, stretching far into the future. The difference started at 6 p.m. Sunday.
The adrenalin rush that comes as the 6 o'clock time approaches is like playing Russian roulette with real bullets. You are in the game and you sitting at the table. As you make the call you are putting the gun to your head. Will the chamber be empty? Or will the bullet that says "report tomorrow morning at 8 a.m." have your name on it?
My advice to Kim was, "As long as you have to go, make up your mind that you will do the best you can. Life is a lot easier if we don't try to resist 'what is'."
At 8 a.m. Thursday the adrenalin rush was more intense. There was still a small glimmer of hope that Kim would escape her fate. The odds were small, but the voice in her head kept telling her that there was the possibility of a reprieve.
Kim's next email announced her fate. "I got selected to be on a jury. I am juror #1! The first one they picked! Oh well - it is only supposed to be a 3 day trial :)
Human nature is to let down at this point, to accept our "punishment" and to get through it with as little pain as possible. Human nature will cause us to lose sight of the opportunity of a lifetime. Think about it. How many times in Kim's life will she have the opportunity to serve as a juror?
The treasure that is hidden in this opportunity is priceless. This is the beginning of an opportunity that can change the way Kim looks at herself, and at the world around her. It can change her forever, if she will let it.
We humans are "hardwired" with the most amazing skill. We have the ability to correct our mistakes -- any mistake. We can bring peace to a world at war. We can restore our environment. We can do anything we would like to do. First we need to have the desire to see what is, and then we need the desire to make changes.
However, the skill we need to work to develop is one that precedes our ability to correct our mistakes. First we need to be willing to see the mistakes that we are making. In other words, we need to be able to see "what is".
Seeing "what is" is a dangerous task. We resist it -- which means we fall into denial. We see it and then start to complain -- which means we fall into blame. We need to learn to see "what is" and then ask ourselves two questions.
The first question is: How am I like this? Is my behavior contributing to "what is"? This is treacherous territory because the tendency is to deny, to blame, or to scream and run from the truth. If we are willing to see our own truth, we will find there is something inside us that is similar.
Do we have the strength to accept that the universe is constructed as a mirror? Do we have the strength to acknowledge that everything we can see is something that will fuel our personal growth? When we develop that strength we can take giant strides toward a better life.
The second question requires us to be proactive. We must ask: How can I make use of this awareness? Developing the ability to ask this question is an enormous task. When we can learn to ask this question we can discover the answers to how to make things better in our life and in the world around us. This is the key to making our future bigger than our past.
This is where coaching comes into the picture. Another person can help you to see the obvious answers that are already inside you. Entering into an honest relationship with yourself and with another person allows the truth that exists deep within you to come to the surface of consciousness. As this truth is revealed we acquire the ability to use our greatest asset. When we see the truth of "what is", we can make use of our power of choice.
Kim's email Thursday night said: "Thanks for the motivation. It is what it is and I am accepting it. :)"
The real question is: What choices Kim will make now? How she will use this opportunity to do more than just accept "what is".
We are limited only by our imagination. To remind ourselves of this we print stickers and plaques of a quote by Napoleon Hill: "Whatever your mind can conceive and believe it can achieve." When we can accept "what is", when we can ask ourselves how we are part of "what is", we can use the power of our choices and of our imagination to create a better world.