It's one of the biggest questions we can ask. What is the secret to a happy life? Is it love? Is it money? Is it a fulfilling career? Is it a sense of control? What was that "one thing" the late actor Jack Palance was talking about in the 1991 movie City Slickers that is the secret to life when he raised his finger and said, "Just one thing. You stick to that an the rest don't mean sh*t."
To find this secret let's look at what life is about from a larger perspective. Although it seems chaotic at times, life does have a consistent intent and purpose. Everything in existence is moving towards something, some aim, or some intention. Actually intention is what drives all of the movement in the universe. This is seen in the stars, the volcanoes that produce new earth, all living plant life, all animal actions, and in the choices millions of people make every day. This intention, from the deepest level emerges from the urge to "be" or to exist. Everyone and every thing is just trying to express or demonstrate the validation of existence (I AM) .
So here is where it gets interesting. The way each individual person decides what his or her survival or existence is based on, is what determines everything they do and hence everything they experience. It determines every thought, every choice, and every action and reaction. The idea of what is necessary for survival is completely subjective and different for every person. When someone is doing what gives him or her the greatest feeling of being alive, life feels timeless and endless. There is a state of peace, happiness and certain contentment. When life doesn't cooperate with what one wants to experience the mind and soul get restless and uneasy as the ego scrambles to figure out what to do, and how to do it in order to get back to balance and feeling like ourselves.
This is when we seek things in our outer existence to achieve or experience that are thought to be the answer to this quest. Love, money, control, career are just a few of the main examples. However, these achievements often become temporary and are susceptible to change and misunderstanding. Here are some examples.
While romantic love is amazing and creates an enormous amount of positive feelings, it is not the complete answer. Another person does not "complete you". You have to complete you before you can have a balanced relationship.
While money can help you do a lot of things and create a lot of outer experiences, it can't buy lasting fulfillment or happiness. It actually may distract you from this sacred space.
While it feels nice to be in control of all things in your world, the truth is that the more you try and control things the more life reminds you that you can't control everything. Many things in life are beyond anyone's control.
While having a good career is a very positive thing in general and can give you a great sense of purpose, stability and meaning, eventually companies, careers, interests and the times change. Many are faced with these changes later in life.
The above examples are all wonderful creative experiences but the real secret is that no single experience or outer achievement is the answer to a happy life. The "secret" is actually about achieving an level of understanding, awareness or general state of "mindfulness" that simply knows that all is perfect in each moment including YOU. It is about really and truly trusting life and circumstance at every twist and turn on the path to your continual creative desires. It is about embracing your path, your past choices, and the ability to make a new powerful choice in this moment.
This awareness consists of the following:
1. The understanding that life is what you make of it based on how much you believe in you. No matter what the circumstance. No matter what the situation. The experience of life will always be a result of how you decide to interpret and respond to yourself and life. Negative out is negative in. Positive out is positive in. The quality of your energy and how you see who you are is creating it all. By being accepting of yourself you are able to see more of what's possible of you, regardless of circumstance.
2. The understanding that your reactions reveal your truth. Your truth at the deepest level is what leads to your choices and your experiences. What you believe to be true about you is what drives all you create. Stuff happens. Life will confront you with many situations that challenge you. How compassionate you are with yourself will be critical to the energy that goes into your next choice. That choice holds the power to change everything for you.
3. The understanding that by making the commitment to trust life you demonstrate a powerful faith in action. This means you don't get rattled as much because there is an underlying sense of calm and faith. This faith has a powerful positive effect on the construction of your next experience. In other words it influences the probability of what happens or of what you experience in your next moment of life is based on your faith in this one. You either see life working for you or against you. Here's a powerful hint - If it's happening to you, it has something in it for you to experience or learn. You can learn the fastest when your reaction is one of openness and acceptance rather than resistance.
4. The understanding that the Universe is here to support you. It does this both in what it brings to you through your experiences and by how you choose to respond to them. Regardless, it is a demonstration of unconditional love through the process of offering you a greater and greater awareness of who you really are. It's role is to help you put the conditions together based on what you say you want. However, it can only support you as much as you support you.
5. The understanding that life is endless. Knowing that energy cannot be created or destroyed but only transforms leads to a greater understanding about you and your existence. When you embrace more of this reality about the nature of energy and consciousness you don't feel like time is running out and are more relaxed and peaceful in each moment. This enhances your creative power.
To summarize, the secret of secrets in regard to living your best life is about the quality of your state of mind in every moment. Make the commitment today to journey more into the power of self-awareness to make sure only the most peaceful, trusting and loving energy is expressed to yourself and your world. This is revealed both in your self-talk and by the words and actions you choose in your response to others and to any circumstance you encounter. In this greater state of understanding and awareness life becomes a beautiful state of mindfulness and "flow". This connective attitude will work to serve you and your creative intentions for a happy life in a very powerful way.
Howard Falco ( HowardFalco.com ) is a spiritual teacher and sports performance coach to college and professional athletes. He is an expert on mindfulness and embracing the creative power within. He is the author of 2 books on human understanding and potential; I AM: The Power of Discovering Who You Really Are, and Time in a Bottle: Mastering the Experience of Life (Tarcher/Penguin Group). Known for his powerfully clear and relatable style, Howard presents the wisdom regarding how to harness more of the creative power of the mind to accomplish any result or overcome any challenge you face in life, allowing you to achieve a greater sense of peace, understanding and fulfillment in the process. You can find him on Facebook at facebook.com/HowardFalco.IAM instagram @howardfalco or Twitter @Howard Falco