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Being a mother is the hardest yet most rewarding responsibility I have ever had. I'm sure many mothers would attest to that sentiment. And as I am living through the fear, anxiety, faith, and love of motherhood, I often contemplate my relationships that have strengthened with women in similar positions. If I didn't have these friends (and my mama, because she is the best friend to me in my motherhood), I can soberly say I do not know where I'd be. We all are not related by blood, but we have secured an impermeable bond with each other that originated with one fact: we have children. Are we still friends with women who do not have kids? Of course. And that relationship is so important, too; as is the relationship I have with my wonderfully encouraging blood sisters. But the sisterhood in motherhood is paramount for many mothers for so many reasons. This alliance exists because of empathy and understanding we have of each other's life as a mother. We support our sisters throughout their everyday lives in any way we can. This sisterhood is also full of educating each other on the ins and outs of child rearing. We are sisters because we respect one another, and we respect the task of raising children.
Sisters Feel for One Another
Empathy is incredibly important in motherhood. When moms connect emotionally, feelings of isolation are cast away, and it is easier to cope with the realization that your experience is not wholly unique. I cannot count how many times a sister-mama has reached out to me with a situation -- almost identical to one I have gone through, and vice versa. Simply put, we go through the same kinds of things with all our kids, thanks to human nature. The nature of children and their parents is not new to life; if I've seen it with my girls, chances are high that another mom has also experienced it. From potty training blues, to jealousy of the new baby: there is always a sister nearby to commiserate or laugh with. Empathy validates our feelings and our decisions in motherhood. These common experiences are now the main focus of our conversations, and there is no shortage of things to talk about and work through together in our everyday lives.
My Sisters' Keeper
To have children means being busy all the time. It is truly astonishing to witness a mom in action. I tell people all the time that even mundane details of my life before children, are now totally different. Much of the time spent is in supporting the other mothers in my circle. The sisterhood overflows with playdates, birthday parties, cooking for a new mommy, babysitting; the to-do list goes on and on. The calendar swells with soccer matches, ballet lessons, and swim practice. But somehow, you manage time to text your sister-mama to load up her clan and meet you at the local eatery to feed the kids and catch up on time missed. The proverbial "high fives" ensue, as you swap stories of your week: from finally clearing out all the newborn onesies from your one-year-old's dresser, to successfully pulling out her son's front tooth. Then the imaginary (or real) hugs begin, as you lament over the baby's everlasting runny nose, to kindergarten awards ceremonies that ran late. Support is prime in the sisterhood, and these women are the very buttress of mom life.
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Sisters are Teachers, Too
When I had my first child, there was lots I didn't know. Like, lots. Thankfully, I have an awesome mom who cares, and sister-mamas who are willing to give to my schooling on motherhood. Truth be told, there is still so much I learn everyday about my role as a mother. But when you surround yourself with women in the same situations, learning is an adventure. There are books and media sites that have all these answers, but I am a believer in experience. I learn by observation and doing. When my first child wasn't as excited as I was about weaning, I didn't look to the net, I asked my best friend how she did it with her son. When my baby was colicky, I looked to my sister-mamas to show me methods they used to soothe their little ones. All sisters in the circle poised themselves to educate each other via their own motherhood. Each of us trusts one another with our teachings, and personal experience has so much more of a premium placed on it.
Props to My Sisters
I really cannot say enough about the respect and love I have for my sisterhood. I hold these women in very high regard, as they have been lifesavers for me. I admire the awesome job they do with bringing up their children. Respect is key. Respect is vital to the survival of the sisterhood. When we show that we value each other, the potential of our individual motherhoods is astounding. Their opinions matter to me, and there is not a day that goes by that I don't talk to at least one of them. My sisters are counselors, they are teachers, they are cheerleaders, they are shoulders to cry on. My sisters eat, laugh, scold each other, and sing together. They are the keepers of the deepest of mommy secrets. They are the stewards of the motherships in the darkest of nights. These mothers are my sisters for life.
Shana Swain has a food and beverage blog at feedmetipme.wordpress.com