Researchers are scratching their heads trying to figure out why it's so rare to have women talking to each other about something other than men.
The Bechdel Test for Movies
If you watched Miss Representation several years ago or have read articles that have talked about how few movies have strong women characters that aren't completely focused on a male, then you're familiar with the Bechdel Test.
The Bechdel Test requires that a movie must meet minimum standards to receive a passing grade. Those minimum standards include that the movie dialogue must show 1) two women talking to each other 2) about something other than a man. Some add the requirement that both women actually have to have a name (and not just be "girl behind the counter") or that the conversation has to last at least 60 seconds long.
On paper, these standards don't seem entirely too lofty to me. But apparently only about half of the movies end up passing the grade, with the minimum of requirements.
The irony is that we get upset every year during award season as we realize how few of the big movies actually show women talking to each other or not having the entire dialogue revolve around the men in the story, and yet, our own lives are showing even worse results!
The Bechdel Test in Our Lives
When asked if they had at least two female friends who they talk to about something besides men, Yale researchers found that only 30 percent of women are able to say yes.
Among those under 35, their favorite theme for discussion is "boys," and for those over the age of 35, the answer shifts only slightly to "spouses."
We are relational creatures, and our romantic relationships are certainly some of the most defining ones in our lives, but really?!?
We could be talking about things such as our personal growth, news stories that impact us, our changing relationships to our parents, how our identities keep shifting, our insecurities at work, our dreams about what we want to contribute to this world, the projects that light us up, the hobbies that energize us, the unjust behaviors happening to women around the world, or the ideas that stimulate our brains. There is so much in this world to talk about in addition to romance. The world needs us talking about so very many other things.
Intentionally Expanding our Female Relationships
This is, at least, a two-prong issue.
The first is that we have to have more than two women we talk with for more than 60 seconds at a time. Some women who don't confide in anyone other than their guy; some are wary of female friendships, claiming to be more of a "girl who gets along better with guys"; some simply have tons of acquaintances, but no one they really have deep conversations with; and some are willing to have these conversations but just don't know anyone to confide in.
Clearly, for many, the need is simply establishing more female friendships so that if our lives were being filmed for a movie, there would be many scenes filled with us having substantial conversations with other women.
The second issue, though, is that for those of us who do have many female friendships, we need to practice expanding what we talk about! We need to practice being together and sharing way more about our lives than simply how we feel about how one person in the world feels about us at any given moment.
In short, we need more meaningful friendships with other women -- relationships that feel safe and healthy because they are built on us sharing about ourselves in a wide variety of ways. Relationships that support our romantic interests, but that also support all the other sides of us, too!
Shasta is facilitating "The Friendships You've Always Wanted! Learning a Better Way to Meet-Up, Build-Up, and Break-Up with Your Friends!" course that starts on Sept. 4 with a free class. www.FriendshipsWanted.com
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.