It's that time of year, again...
What is it with this war on Christmas? It's been waging for years now? I think it was first promoted by that pontificating pundit Bill O'Reilly, then mushroomed like a nuclear explosion on Fox News. Bill-O has claimed that he's been fighting against this war for almost twenty years. Wow, that's even longer than the Afghanistan war. Where have I been?
Okay, I grant you that some people and politicians are agitated and agitating, but there is no army, no soldiers marching against Christmas or Christians -- most are just trying too hard to be politically correct when they refer to a holiday tree or wish everyone Happy Holidays (there really are a lot of holidays this time of year). They just think they're being inclusive of everyone. Take that Rhode Island governor who once called the tree in his own house a "Christmas tree," but the tree in the "state" house a "Holiday tree." It's just plain silly. But a war? Please! It was the Pilgrims, actually, who were the ones who banned Christmas trees, Christmas presents and levied a fine on anyone who said "Merry Christmas." Now, those are fightin' words.
Frankly, I've never been too sure about who Bill-O and his fellow brethren felt declared this war on Christmas, but when I recently researched it online, I found out it was all those secular Democrats living in liberal hamlets across the land. Shame on you, you seculars! You're the ones who've declared war on Christmas! You're the ones who've ripped the Nativities out of our town squares!
Wait. I'm a secular Democrat! But I'm also a Protestant and I haven't declared war on Christmas, nor has any secular Democrat I know. I even played Mary once in my Sunday school Christmas pageant (I think I was nine) and the town I grew up in didn't have a Nativity in its town square anyway. We had them inside our churches where they belonged.
But because Bill-O, et al, said "we" started this war, I decided to check out my little liberal-leaning, Southern California hamlet to see if he was right.
The first thing I noticed was that my town doesn't have a Nativity in its town square. Maybe it's because we don't even have a town square. We do, however, have big parking lots flooded with Christmas shoppers' parked cars throughout the county. However, many of them have morphed into Christmas tree lots. Hmmm -- not "holiday" tree lots? I decided I better check this out.
So, after I drove around the county, checking out those Christmas tree lots (I know they're Christmas tree lots, because the signs told me they were), I found myself at a Holiday Open House on one of America's "Main" Streets. Uh oh, now they've done it. "Holiday" Open House? Those secular Democrats may not have declared war on our Christmas tree lots, but they had taken over the streets. Occupy Santa Lane!
Speaking of "holiday," have you notice how Bill-O really gets into a real dither when he hears "Happy Holiday?" It seems we are eliminating baby Jesus when we wish someone "Happy Holiday." It's the crux of his war on Christmas. Though why so many of those ranting about the war on Christmas write "Xmas" for "Christmas" (which is literally eliminating "Christ") is a puzzlement to me, but I digress.
When I hear Bill-O and others go on and on about secular Democrats using "Happy Holiday," I wonder if they think that Bing Crosby was a secular Democrat waging war on Christmas all the way back in 1942 when our country was in the midst of WWII (a real war) and he sang Irving Berlin's little ditty in the classic "holiday" movie, "Holiday Inn" titled "Happy Holiday?"
Happy Holiday
Happy holiday, happy holiday
While the merry bells keep ringing
May your ev'ry wish come true
Happy holiday, happy holiday
May the calendar keep bringing
Happy holidays to you
Maybe Bill-O gave ol' Bing a pass for such heresy. Bing did sing "White Christmas" after all.
But wait, here I was at the Holiday Open House and there were all kinds of pretty Christmas trees (remember, we know they're Christmas trees because the lots we buy them in tell us they're Christmas trees) and there were beautiful Christmas wreaths (gotten at those Christmas tree lots), and tons and tons and tons of Christmas decorations (these decorations are certainly not Hanukkah decorations). Even the parking meters were decked out like Christmas trees.