Anxiety, fear and self-doubt wants us to think that we need something a certain way "or else."
(Not that it tells us what the unsavory consequences are. Anxiety is always vague and evasive. This is how it holds its power.)
So when things don't happen that certain way, darn it, that good-for-nothing fear has us all up in arms. Tied in a knot. Fumbling and immobilized. Discombobulated.
Things varying from the plan is anxiety's most-used excuse to come in and come in heavy. "Oh no," we think. "This is not supposed to happen. What if I can't handle this?"
Anxiety ensues.
Here is the most important thing you can do for what you do for a happy life:
Be flexible!
This is how:
1. Know that you can handle it
We have to believe we "can't handle it" for anxiety to work. (We help anxiety hold this power over us by believing the nonsense it feeds us.) But this is a lie. You can handle it. You do it every day.
You are very skilled. You can trust yourself. Look at all of your awesomeness. Look how you survived loads of hard things. You have handled a lot. The little things that change each day-plans; things being late; or forgetting something-these are peanuts compared to what you have done. Don't let these little things throw you off.
2. When things change, flow with it
Things are always changing. Nothing ever stays the same. We already have the skills to be flexible, or we wouldn't be alive today. Whether we are aware of it or not, we manage (handle) change constantly. When we don't notice it, our skills are rendered invisible. But that doesn't mean they are not there.
Too often we claim. "I don't do well with change." That is a belief that makes us feel more out of control than ever. But it's not true. You deal with change every second, and you are fine.
Stop thinking that change is out of control. When you are flexible you decide how to respond giving you control. Being flexible feels awesome and empowering, not scary.
3. Notice your skills
Look at your list of skills and abilities. How great are they? You rock! Embrace the control you do have instead of lamenting the control you don't have. Have a basic plan for other possibilities. So when plans shift, you're ready. Always be prepared! When you expect other possibilities, you don't fear them.
4. Get support
Other people who care about you have a distance to see a different perspective. It helps to get their support to see the situation from an angle other than the fear angle. You can see it through their eyes and gain this perspective, too. From this perspective, you can make meaning around the change that can help you decide how to move forward without fear's influence. Isolated in an anxious mind is a really hard place to be alone.
5. Allow yourself to feel upset
Don't judge yourself for feeling the loss of the original plan. This creates judgment and it breeds more anxiety. When you allow yourself to feel how you feel, you go through it faster.
Adjust your attitude. Make some lemonade with those lemons. Think of something else that would work. Use your creativity. Think of it as a challenge or an adventure.
You can watch my video on how to Allow Yourself To Feel:
Being flexible is the most important thing that you can do for your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health.
Tell me: What is the first thing you think when confronted with change?
-----------
HuffPost's GPS for the Soul app is based on two truths about human beings. First: We all have a centered place of wisdom, harmony and balance within us. Second: We're all going to veer away from that place, again and again and again. What we need is a great course-correcting mechanism -- a GPS for the Soul -- to help us find our way back to that centered place, from which everything is possible.
Because no one knows better than you what helps you de-stress and tap into that place of peace inside yourself, it's important for you to create your very own GPS guide -- a personalized collection of whatever helps you course-correct. Email us at GPS@huffingtonpost.com and we'll set you up with your very own HuffPost blogger account to share your guide on the site. If you're already a blogger, we encourage you to upload your personal guide today. We can't wait to see what you have to share.