Dear President Donald J. Trump,
Sorry about the Time Magazine Person of the Year thing. You know Obama got Person of the Year, right? Yeah. Oh well. Here's a few tips for winning next year.
Try preserving Net Neutrality. Net Neutrality truly makes America great for all Americans. (Not just your crazy, self-obsessed constituents.) Most American's support Net Neutrality, so your FCC guy is screwing you for your shot at 2018 Person of the Year.
Stop threatening elephants and the environment. As it turns out, the environment and threatened species are kind of important for all people in all countries. It's true. Ask around. Ask outside of your handpicked minions who are too scared and self-absorbed to tell you the truth.
Have you noticed that women are pretty pissed off right now? I know – you think they are all liars. How convenient. It's a real hornets nest, isn't it? But you should be aware that most of those women are paying close attention now. And they vote. Understanding and acting in a positive way on this issue could help you in the future.
Tweeting. Are you aware that, in addition to making you appear mean and bullying, that your off-the-cuff tweets impact legal proceedings making it more difficult for your administration to prosecute criminals and making it easier for collusion investigators to accuse you and your team? You should be. Oh, and Tweeting also diminishes your influence overseas as world leaders see you as childish and of no consequence. Their just providing lip service and ignoring you now.
I'd also recommend you adjust your tax plan. You promised your supporters an improved Tax situation but what's developed is the usual GOP tax give away for the uber-wealthy - like you. That's a shame because the vote in Congress probably won't go your way and that means zero major legislation for the entire first year of your administration. Oh boy. That's pretty bad. Probably the worst presidential performance ever, especially considering your majority in congress. Hmm. Kind of explains the Time thing, huh?
I could go on, but you should be able to understand things better now. Good luck next year!
And remember, President Obama will always be my Person of the Year. Did you see his latest position in presidential rankings? Oh well, at least they list you at the beginning. (Yikes!)