New Year’s Eve festivities look a little different when you add kids to the mix.
Many parents spend Dec. 31 partying it up with snacks and family time on the couch. Some trick their children into going to bed before midnight ... and then pass out from pure exhaustion shortly thereafter.
And of course, some take to Twitter to laugh about these wild adventures. Here are 31 funny tweets that sum up New Year’s Eve for parents.
Parents..don't forget to set your clocks ahead two hours on New Year's Eve so you can pretend that you actually did stay up until midnight.— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) December 29, 2015
I know my life has changed when on New Year's Eve, I run to Walmart to get diapers, milk, Epsom salt, and children's Tylenol. #DadLife— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) January 1, 2017
NYE is getting crazy at my house...— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) January 1, 2017
Hubby just gave the kids popcorn AFTER I vacuumed.
Got carded buying NYE "fireworks."— Kelly Phillips Erb (@taxgirl) December 31, 2014
12yo: Can't they tell just by looking at you that you're not underage?
Feeling good about the new year.
Child-free people: So what are your New Year's Eve plans?— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) December 31, 2016
Moms: Cleaning stuff.
I just found a LEGO in my dryer's lint trap so yeah you could say my New Year's Eve is getting pretty crazy— Wendy S. (@maughammom) January 1, 2017
Told my kids my New Year's resolution is to stop swearing and then we all laughed our fucking asses off.— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) December 27, 2014
Sorry I won't be able to make it to your New Year's Eve party. I'm waiting for my 7yo to finish tying his shoes so I'm busy 'til April.— Babies Daddy (@dshack8) October 27, 2014
Who me? Just planning on celebrating New Year's at 9pm like all the other parents.— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 1, 2016
My children's new year's resolution appears to be to mash up crackers and leave crumbs in every room of the house.— Sarah Kelber (@sarahkelber) January 1, 2014
As a parent, my only New Year's resolution is to give less than 30% of my salary in 2016 to the Disney Corporation.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) January 1, 2016
I love that cute married thing we do where we pretend that if we let the kids stay up until 12am on New Year's Eve, they'll "wake up later."— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) December 29, 2016
6YO: When you’re an adult do you always have to stay up to midnight on New Year’s Eve?— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) December 31, 2015
ME: I hope not.
New Year's Resolution: Think of kids less like little people meant to bring me joy and more like workers I've hired to clean the the house.— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) December 31, 2015
New Year's Goal: Get my house organized.— Meredith (@PerfectPending) January 4, 2016
Actual accomplishment: Make snacks and teach my kids how to flush a public toilet with their foot.
Having your first baby on New Year’s Eve is a good crash course on parenthood. Everybody is at a party but you & your too exhausted to care.— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) December 31, 2015
New Year's Eve as a parent is mostly telling our kids to dream big while we lie unshowered and bloated on couches we fall asleep on by 9pm.— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) December 31, 2016
Me: *to a cashier* Happy New Year.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 2, 2017
6-year-old: How do you know the New Year will be happy?
Me: I don't
6: So you're just lying to people?
7: are you taking hints for your New Year's resolution?— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) December 27, 2016
7: good, so say yes to us more when we ask for stuff you want to say no to
I'm a Mom, so I get to do things like this on New Year's Eve. pic.twitter.com/wZ6spe6kgJ— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) December 31, 2015
Co-worker: Big plans for NYE?— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) December 30, 2016
Me: No. Just going to let someone bite my nose & laugh until they sleep.
M: I have a toddler.
Parents writing their kids' New Year's resolutions for them should be a thing.— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) December 30, 2016
Happy New Year, parents! I know you're well-rested because you drank two glasses of wine and went to bed at 10:30pm last night.— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) January 1, 2017
I'm excited to hear the stories my kids tell their kids about how their parents told them NYE was a time to hide in your home & eat cheese.— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) December 31, 2016
My parenting style today could best be described as, "Go ahead, I don't care; it's New Year's Eve."— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) December 31, 2015
I hope they write "spent New Year's Eve 2015 at IHOP with her family" in my obituary.— momma unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) December 31, 2014
My New Year's resolution is to put my Fitbit on my dominant hand, so I get steps for lifting my wineglass.— Sara (@sara_ashlynn) December 26, 2016
20's celebrating NYE: Drinking, dancing, party till dawn— The Next Martha (@TheNextMartha) January 1, 2017
40's celebrating NYE: Home eating candy out of your kids stockings.
My New Year's resolution was to have more patience but, thanks to my kids, I broke that within 5 minutes of the New Year.— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) January 3, 2017
My New Year's resolution was to make sure my kids don't waste as much food. So far I've gained 40 lbs.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) January 6, 2017
Who has a great mop they'd recommend? I need something for kid stickiness & cat puke.— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) December 31, 2015
And don't tell me I don't know how to party on NYE