Parents of young children often joke about the difficult teenage years ahead. But when their kids become teens, the jokes don’t stop.
We’ve rounded up 39 tweets from parents about the angst, chaos and hilarity that come with raising teenagers.
A fun thing about having teens is how they text you from school to tell you they don't like their lunch.— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) August 15, 2017
According to my teenage sons the appropriate number of squirts of Axe Body Spray is somewhere between 38 and 579.— Lady Lawya 🍾🎉 (@Parkerlawyer) March 27, 2017
Teen tried to make a dramatic exit by slamming my door, but there was a towel on the knob. No slam, & no dignity for her as I died laughing.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 2, 2017
Don't give up hope, parents of uncommunicative teens. Today my newly-chatty son said "nah" only three hours after I asked him a question.— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) October 16, 2016
Son turned 13 yesterday.— Jennifer Mendelsohn (@CleverTitleTK) September 3, 2017
This morning my husband asked how it felt to be a teenager.
Without missing a beat he said, "Shut up, Dad." 😂
[Me before teens]— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) December 11, 2017
*super irritated that people always say, “Oh you think it’s bad now just wait til they’re teens...”*
[Me after teens]
GOD HELP US THEY WERE RIGHT
At the airport.— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) May 5, 2017
Just kissed 13yo son on his forehead.
He reacted like Dracula getting impaled by a wooden stake.
Just changed the Netflix password so my teenager has to come out of his room to talk to me.— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) October 16, 2016
A nice thing my teenage son does to help around the house is tell us when we're out of the junk food he likes.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 13, 2016
Babies&small children need attention 24/7. Then they become teens& hide in their rooms, avoiding you as much as possible, to make up for it.— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) June 18, 2016
The thing I like about having teens is how they make a bunch of plans because they're "independent" & then ask to borrow money.— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) December 16, 2015
Nothing makes me more nervous than a text from my teenage son that says, "How soon will you and mom be home?"— Travis Bone (@FinallyHeSleeps) January 24, 2016
Just watched one of my teens struggle for 10 minutes to use a can opener on a can of soup with a pull tab.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 13, 2017
The good news: She did get the can open, & that’s likely one less college tuition for us.
95% of my teenager's room could be a laundry basket and he'd manage to throw his clothes in the 5% that wasn't.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 31, 2017
Roll those eyes all you want, teenage daughter. You'll still be changing my diapers in 20 years.#teens— Not THAT Tax Scam (@HilaryVervers) March 31, 2016
Rhett Butler in that Gone with the Wind scene except it's me to my teenager who said "All my friends are going to Cancun for Spring Break."— Lady Lawya 🍾🎉 (@Parkerlawyer) December 6, 2016
My 15yo son told me he wants to see "Get Out" but since it's R-rated, he'll sneak in. Real gangstas tell their mommy their plan in advance.— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) February 27, 2017
Having a 15 year old son has really turned me into a boring asshole, apparently— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 10, 2016
“When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”— Steven Isserlis (@StevenIsserlis) October 13, 2017
― Nora Ephron
The only real reason I want my teens to have phones is so I can blow them up in the morning when they aren’t getting out of bed.— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) November 21, 2017
My teens cleaned their rooms & according to my sink & countertops, they've been hoarding my whole kitchen.— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) July 11, 2017
86% of parenting teens is waiting in the car outside some practice or sporting event.— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) November 15, 2017
I leave love-notes for my kids to find after school, like "Pick up your shit or I'll give it to teens who don't have crap to strew about."— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) January 25, 2017
Just texted my teenager to remind me what Parental Control password I'd set & that she'd figured out, so I could get into my own Netflix.— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) May 21, 2016
As my friend confessed, "My teenage daughter never even talks to me," I struggled to conceal my jealousy.— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) August 19, 2015
The great thing about having teens who sleep until noon is I only have to feed them 2 meals a day.— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) June 28, 2016
Just earned the Mom Badge of Courage for taking 16yo driving.— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) February 20, 2016
The glovebox on the pax side should include a minibar for times like these.
My teens are all Billy Bad Asses... Until the power goes out.— Lady Lawya 🍾🎉 (@Parkerlawyer) January 23, 2016
Then they're shrieking 5 yr olds running through the house like it's on fire.
Son, when I was a teenager, we didn't have to spend $2,000 on a sky-writer to ask a girl to prom.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 14, 2017
Mother Nature really struts her stuff when she gives moms hot flashes at the same time teens start refusing to wear long pants and coats.— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) December 18, 2017
Me [before kids]: I’m going to be the coolest parent.— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) December 2, 2017
Me [now]: *dabbing*
Teen son: I literally hate you.
If you doubt my dedication to a higher power, you should see how many prayers I can recite while riding passenger to my teen driver.— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) February 15, 2017
Shopping with my teen daughter. If you need me, I'll be sitting right outside this dressing room, losing the will to live.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 29, 2017
Spend quality time with your kids. Force them hold your hand and skip with you. Do this with your teens. Do it at the mall.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 5, 2016
Parenting tip: Asking your 16yo daughter why she listens to such stupid music is NOT the best conversation starter.— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) November 29, 2013
Why is it whenever I try to talk to my teenager he's staring at his phone but when I call him he doesn't answer...? Do I need to text? Help— Claire Smith (@MinistryOfMum) March 29, 2016
Parenting tip: Learn to breakdance so when you meet your teenager's new friends, you have a cool talent to show them.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 17, 2017
I shut my teen's bedroom door to make my house feel cleaner.— Sara (@sara_ashlynn) May 26, 2017