A shared sense of humor is one of the keys to a long and happy marriage.
To that end, we've collected 26 hilariously relatable tweets that will make perfect sense to husbands and wives.
Me: Look, I love you, But I made exactly the amount of cheese & crackers I want to eat right now.— keith (@tchrquotes) November 4, 2014
Wife: But I only...
Me: EXACTLY the amount
*breaks toaster*— ReeseButCallMeV (@ReeseButCallMeV) January 21, 2016
"So. When did you break the toaster?!"
If at first you don't succeed maybe your wife will just do it for you from now on like that time I loaded the dishwasher.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 22, 2015
Marriage is basically just whispering, "Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video."— Mel Evans (@mel_evans) February 22, 2016
The best thing about being married is having someone who can tell you if something is disgusting or not...— Boyd's Backyard (@TheBoydP) February 24, 2016
Marriage is basically agreeing to not sleep in a comfortable position again for the rest of your life.— ⚡️QUΞΞN ΔLΔNΔ⚡️ (@AlanaRockz) November 16, 2015
You pee too loud.— KC of TX (@kcmoore51) February 12, 2016
Today's my husband's birthday, so...— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) January 29, 2016
*flips coin to see if I should shave above the knee*
[runs to the door to greet wife]— David Hughes (@david8hughes) February 28, 2016
I'm afraid there's been a terrible accident involving all the things you asked me to do today.
Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share.— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 30, 2015
Marriage is basically just texting each other "Idk" when asked about dinner until one of you finally says "fuck it, let's go to Chili's".— The Fantastic Mr.Fox (@Camel_Crushin) January 9, 2016
[rolls over in bed and whispers to wife]— Rocky Momax (@rockymomax) February 16, 2016
"I ate like 75 chicken nuggets today"
Me: Wait, so it's cool for you to use my phone charger but I can't touch yours?— Rock (@TheMichaelRock) January 28, 2016
It's 3pm and my husband and I are still sitting in bed waiting for the other to get up and make coffee this morning.— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) February 14, 2015
Wife: You pick dinner.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 22, 2016
Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Wife: It's up to you.
99% of my marriage is discussing whether cats can smile or not.— Brownie (@mrs_kwb) November 6, 2015
Marriage is like coffee. First it's really hot. Then it's just right. Then it helps you get off your ass and do things.— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) February 10, 2016
Marriage Morning Ritual Year One: *kiss*. I love you!— Stacey Sordahl (@DrunkAtThePTA) February 25, 2016
Year Five: Have a great day! *air kiss*
Year Ten: Grunt; stumbles out the door.
Marriage is essentially just having somebody who you can have regular conversations with while one or both of you are stark naked.— lauren robinson (@laurenjoyness) September 15, 2015
me *starts head banging during Bohemian Rhapsody*— Josh (@iwearaonesie) February 18, 2016
wife: You just missed our exit
i'll have the chicken finger platter & my lovely wife will have— Mr. Peel (@Rlpihl) November 19, 2015
*hands over coupon
something of equal or lesser value
My wife messaged me to say she's excited to have barbecue ribs with me tonight, so I made sure to compliment her sexting skills.— Myles Morrison (@myles_morrison) July 31, 2015
When my husband asks me where I want to eat, I always say, "Somewhere good." And then reject every one of his suggestions. I'm a delight.— Bossy Britches (@BossyBritches72) September 1, 2014
ME: [wearing donuts as glasses] did u just call me immature— Rocky Momax (@rockymomax) February 2, 2016
ME: [removes donuts & tries to clean with shirt] your moms immature
Me: I'm exhausted.— Jackie Bouvier (@jackiembouvier) February 16, 2016
Husband: Didn't you take a 2 hour nap?
Me: What do you mean by that?