What Do Modern Dog Parents Do On National Joke Day?

08/16/2016 03:36 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Tell dog jokes of course!

Here is a list of my Top 21! Add yours to the comment section below and let the laughter begin!

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A Collie walked into the bar. The bartender said,

"Why the Long Face?"

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper, and you get more feet.
-Rita Rudner

The judge paused the case to ask an important question: Do you mean you were wearing a leash?

The defendant stood up and objected! Your honor, aren't you leading the witness

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What do you call a dog who can do magic tricks?

A labracadabrador!

What did the police dog say when he followed the wrong trail?

My faux paw

What kind of dog chases anything red?

A bulldog!

A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

"Sure," I said, "as long as you provide your own kennel." I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed: "I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!"

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After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer:

"All 40 accounted for."

"But I only have 36 sheep," says the farmer.

"I know," says the sheepdog. "But I rounded them up."

What happens when it rains cats and dogs?

You can step in a poodle.

When is a black dog not a black dog?

When it's a greyhound!

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How does your dog wish you a merry Christmas

Fleas Navidad

What type of markets do dogs avoid?

Flea markets!

What did the skeleton say to the puppy as he was leaving on a trip?

Bone Voyage

Why do dogs run in circles?

To make ends meet!

What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?

A croaker spaniel!

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What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A bloodhound!

What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?

It barked with da-light!

What's more amazing than a talking dog?

A spelling bee.

I spend three minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog. Then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.

-Damien Fahey

Did you hear about the dog who had puppies on the sidewalk?

She was ticketed for littering.

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A Beagle walked into the grocery store and the girl behind the counter said, "Sorry, no dogs."

The Beagle turned to her and said, "That's okay, I just wanted a box of cereal."

Did I miss any? I sure hope so. Post your favorites in the comments below!