Join us as we pay tribute and catch up with some famous female characters from the classic musical films we've all watched zillions of times:
- Saturday Night Fever
- Dirty Dancing
Today's your lucky day because through the magic of blogging, you're about to listen in on their group therapy session!
Therapist: Hi ladies, how ya been?
Sandy: Who you calling a "Has Been?" Fans are still Hopelessly Devoted to me.
Stephanie: Relax, Miss Sandra Dee. You misheard. She's just asking how we are. Personally, I'm Staying Alive.
Therapist: Great! Whether you're a mother or whether you're a brother... well I'm sure we've all had enough of those lyrics. I was going to have us go around the circle and introduce ourselves, but I think it's rather obvious who everyone is -- except for you there with the leg-warmers on. And you are?
Alex: That's okay. Nobody ever knew what my name was in the movie either. When they referred to me, they just said, "She's a maniac, MANIAC!" Mainly I was known by my iconic sweatshirts. I gave everyone the cold shoulder in the 80's.
Therapist: You certainly did. Please tell me more about how that feels. But first Baby, could you please scoot your chair back further so I can see everyone. Maybe back against that wall?
Baby: Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
Therapist: Hmmm, Paranoia and Dissociative Behavior, talking about yourself in the third person. I see we've got our work cut out for ourselves.
Tracy: I've actually already worked hard on myself to overcome society's criticism about being the fat girl. I'm not ashamed of how I look. I'm just grateful I wasn't born a negro.
Therapist: Excuse me!?? Tracy Turnblad! That last part is completely out of character for you.
Tracy: Sorry, I guess you can take the girl outa Baltimore but you can't....well the main thing is - I role modeled self-acceptance.
Therapist: And how can any of us really tell when we've achieved self-acceptance?
Stephanie: Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, yada yada no time to talk. Music loud and feeling warm, been kicked around since I was born . . .
Therapist: Really? You're amazingly confident even with that kind of child abuse.
Sandy: Me too. I always liked myself just as I was.
Baby: What are you talking about, girlfriend? You let yourself turn into a complete slut, forever teaching impressionable young girls that being a goody-two-shoes sucks and the only way to be well-liked is to put out!
Sandy: Tell me about it, Stud.
Ariel: Yeah...Let's hear it for the boy!! Sometimes you gotta cut loose, kick off your Sunday shoes.
Therapist: Please do not remove your footwear here. And I really would like to be the one who leads this discussion.
Stephanie: Wow. Somebody has control issues. And it's sure not Tony Manero.
Coco: I just want a little Fame by belting out one big hit. Okay, okay, I confess...I wanna live forever!
Tracy: You're in the wrong room, sweetheart. Washed Up Female Musical Singers Support Group meets down the hall. Sheesh, that Irene Cara is still pretty fine looking.
Therapist:: Okay, let's stay focused. How about we talk about what dancing did for you. You all had great moves. What impact did that have on your relationships?
Sandy: Well when I lost the big school dance contest, I thought I lost Danny too. After all, he only had eyes for Cha-Cha DiGregorio at that point. But I clung to the hope that we go together, like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong.
Therapist: Yes, that makes so much sense.
Sandy: And I'd also remind myself that we're one of a kind, like dip da-dip da-dip doo-wop da doo-bee doo.
Therapist: Very profound.
Tracy: I have a little confusion with femininity. Like me, my mother was also a very big woman. But sometimes she was also a big man. She sent me double messages about which gender she identified with.
Therapist: Well, "Big" was the key. And you did the right thing by telling her, "Mama, I'm a big girl now!" without hesitating or missing a beat.
Tracy: Well, you can't stop the beat!
Stephanie: Oh, does this mean it's time to talk about the child abuse now?
Therapist: I'm afraid we'll have to stop for this week. But I'd like to go around and hear from everyone what kind of time you've had today and please be honest.
Baby: Now I've had the time of my life. No I never felt like this before. Yes I swear it's the truth. And I owe it all to you.
Therapist: Well at least you owe me $150 for this hour! Sandy, what about you?
Sandy: You're a fake and a phony and I wish I never laid eyes on you.
Therapist: My, my that's a lot of anger there. Maybe if you didn't always keep that Elvis and his Pelvis so far away from you.
Tracy: Or maybe if she ratted her hair earlier in the movie. Personally I loved everything about this session. I just wanna let the whole world know I'm still big, blonde and beautiful. And every day should be negro day!
Therapist: Honey, maybe you should just say, "Black lives matter." As for the rest of you, if you take nothing else away from today, just remember this one word....
Sandy: Grease is the word!!!
If you liked this, you might laugh at the author's other therapy sessions with famous characters. Just click HERE