“Do you know why you were born with two ears and only one mouth?” my grandmother inquired.
“So I can wear two earrings?” I questioned in the youthful naivety of my five-year-old self.
With a soft laugh, my grandmother recited an old proverb. “No, it’s so that you can listen twice as much as you speak!”
While I nonchalantly dismissed this conversation back then, I recently realized the gravity of my grandmother’s words. We were born to listen...
…but very few of us actually do.
Webster Dictionary defines communication as “a process by which information is exchanged between individuals.” In other words, it is a means of sending and receiving, expressing and absorbing, speaking and listening.
Ever since we were younger, the spotlight has always been on the other, more commonly regarded half of communication — talking. When we spoke our first words at the tender age of one, a flurry of cheers, claps, videos, and phone calls likely followed. But, what about when we listened to our first words? What happened then? And, why were we not taught to listen, as we were so openly taught to speak?
You see, in our generation, the importance of listening is too frequently overlooked. We speak, we shout, we debate, we interrupt, and we criticize. But, when do we listen? It is a seemingly simple skill often taken for granted, but rarely put into practice.
The truth is we are doing too much hearing and not enough listening. When was the last time you asked someone for their name only to forget it 30 seconds later? In our day-to-day conversations, we perceive the sounds of words without comprehending the meaning behind them. We succumb to distractions and allow our minds to wander until it is our turn to speak again.
Just the other day, I found this happening to myself during a discussion with a friend. Instead of listening, I was concentrating on myself. Did I agree with her opinions? What was I going to say in response? Did I turn the iron off before I left the house? Listening, I found, is not a completely natural tendency; it requires incredible amounts of attention, practice, and dedication.
While talking undoubtedly contributes to the diversity of thought in our world, only through listening can we understand these thoughts. Only through listening can we learn new concepts, acquire new skills, and digest new ideas. And, only through listening can we build strong connections and gain people’s trust.
As a future physician, listening will be incredibly important throughout my career. Truly focusing on listening to patients' stories, backgrounds, concerns, and questions will allow me to become a more empathic and approachable doctor.
In fact, in all walks of life, listening is an indispensable skill that will result in unparalleled concentration, long-lasting relationships, and increased productivity. So next time you are participating in a conversation, make a conscious effort to listen; you never know what you might discover.