Worrying and the Cancer Journey

08/12/2017 07:28 pm ET

I have noticed that whenever things get really crazy, there is nothing that I want more than just a little bit of quiet time.  But when I finally get that quiet time, I find myself looking for something to do.  I have taken time to go to a quiet place to meditate on many occasions and I wonder why I am not able to do so at will.  Now I finally discovered that when I want that peace and quiet and can’t find it, it is because I am worrying about something. And such was definitely the case after being diagnosed with cancer.

Now I know that worrying about something is absolutely of no value.  It doesn’t change anything.  It is a complete waste of energy.  But yet I do it.  I just keep running my thoughts around in my head with no other outcome than the fact that it drives me crazy.  So I decided that I have had enough and I wanted to end this craziness.  I just had to figure out how?

I began by reviewing a number of times in the past when I had worried about things.  I remembered what I was thinking at those times that had caused my worry.  Then I thought about the ultimate outcome of those situations where I had worried.  To my amazement, there was not one single situation where all the things about which I had worried had turned out the way that I expected.  So why couldn’t I just stop doing this?  Well, I believe worry is nothing more than an expectation of a negative outcome to a particular situation where I do not have enough information.

Okay, so now that I figured out this part of it, what could I do to get more information?  Depending upon the particular situation, this can range anywhere from doing personal research to asking others who have knowledge of the particular situation.  I could also put together all of the information that I had and try to work out some sort of logical explanation or understanding or possible potential outcome to the matter.  In most cases, this did not work because there were just too many variables for which I could not account. And in the case of cancer, I couldn't even figure out the questions to ask in order to get the answers I needed.

And if I couldn’t get more information, then what else could I do to counter the worry?  At the very least, I need to talk about the issue.  I need for others to provide their input which gives me some additional perspectives.  I can get reassurances that all will be fine and that nothing ever turns out the way that you expect.  And when all else fails, I just need to fill my head with a mindless TV show or focus on something absurd to the point where I completely forget what it was on which I was previously wasting my time.

The bottom line is that sometimes you just have to have certain experiences in your life.  Such was the case with my receiving a cancer diagnosis. No one else can tell you what to do.  The experiences of another may be similar but no one has walked a mile in your shoes.  Therefore, even though two people may experience the exact same situation, their individual experiences will not be the same because of the individual lives that brought them to the same place. 

So the heck with all of it!  Enjoy the day.  Live your experiences and try to put on them the most positive spin that you can because regardless of the outcome, you will get out of any situation exactly what you put into it.

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