TECH
07/30/2015 12:11 pm ET

7 Questions For Anyone Who Wants Amazon's Absurd New Dash Button

"Why?" is one of them.
Amazon

Do you bathe in Olay® face cream? Do you wish Gatorade® came out of your faucets? Amazon's got your back.

The Dash Button -- a stick-it-anywhere device that lets you order products with a single press -- is now available to all Amazon Prime members. Each one corresponds to a specific brand, so if you want to be able to order, say, cat food and razors, you need both the Wellness and Gillette Dash Buttons. While it was originally distributed for free during a trial period, each button costs $4.99. 

Now that this thing is official, we have some questions for Amazon and the Dash Button's potential users.

1. Why?

Okay, we know "why." Amazon is doing everything in its power to make ordering products from its store as easy as possible. The online retail giant knows you're not going to stop feeding your cat, so it's offering a way for you to re-up on minced chicken bits the moment you realize you need them. Cupboard's getting empty? Press your Wellness® Dash Button, and another shipment is billed to your credit card and on the way.

But seriously -- why would you ever order one of these buttons? You're essentially paying five bucks (a couple cans of cat food!) for the benefit of not having to pull your phone out of your pocket to buy branded goods. The Dash Button needs to connect to your smartphone to work in the first place. Think about that for a second: If you're a Dash Button customer, you already have a way to purchase anything you want via a few taps on your smartphone. It's in your pocket!

The Dash Button is basically an advertisement you're choosing to place around your home, in front of your children, at a cost to yourself. 

2. Should you just invest in a really fancy straight razor?

You might consider that before purchasing the button that lets you receive shipment after shipment of Gillette® razors. (Seriously, do a cost-benefit analysis.)

3. Do you sincerely hate the environment?

The Smartwater® button may be for you. Think about it: Each time you press this button, you're not just filling your home with more plastic water bottle trash, you're also amassing more waste via Amazon's packaging. 

4. What will you do if something happens to your shipment of baby food?

Let little Ruthie starve? Probably not. Go to the grocery store -- maybe a local mom 'n pop! -- to buy some? Probably! Maybe it doesn't make sense to rely on deliveries for the true essentials.

5. Let's be real: The Gatorade® button is for binge drinkers, right?

Sweet, sweet hangover relief. (Come on: You're not a professional athlete.)

6. Can we be your best friend?

Seriously: If you're the person who needs their very own special button for macaroni and cheese shipments, we want to know you.

7. Really, though: Why?

Don't spend $5 on this.

Alexis Kleinman contributed burning questions.

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