Recently I had to travel out of town for work, and was grateful that it was to a city I used to call home. I planned to visit old friends and catch up with them in a way you can only do in person. I arranged to stay with one of my best friends, and fellow 30 year old on the last night of my trip. This wasn't just any friend. She was the kind of friend that I used to call at 23 years old at 4am and in a fight with my boyfriend AGAIN. She would always pick up the phone and welcome me into her home with open arms and a cup of tea. She's one of the most generous, beautiful and loving people I know and I was excited to spend some much overdue time with her. We had grand plans to go out and catch up in a trendy restaurant with lychee martini's in hand, but after 30 minutes admitted to one another that all we really wanted to do was talk, stay in with her dog and be in bed by 10. We figured this had something to do with our old souls and elevated level of maturity we'd found as we'd entered our fourth decade here on earth. So as we sat on her balcony and enjoyed the sights and sounds of a grand thunderstorm pouring down, we caught up on our individual lives and were once again reminded how parallel our universes still ran despite the fact that we lived in separate cities these days.
Our heads hit the pillows at our planned time and it was there in her bed, like girls in junior high at a slumber party that we began talking about all of the lessons we had learned by 30. The multitude of life experiences we had between the two of us were incredibly different, however many of the lessons we'd learned from them were exactly the same. The compilation of lessons we'd learned by 30 began deep and heartfelt, and by the end we were in hysterics over how seriously we sometimes take life and we were reminded how important it is to lighten up and laugh at ourselves on a regular basis.
So here it is: 30 Lessons Learned By 30
- The most important things in life are your relationships.
- The things you're afraid of letting go of are the things that hold you back from being your true self.
- Honesty is the best policy in relationships. The truth will come out eventually.
- We are all on our own unique time lines. Wherever you are on yours is exactly where you need to be. You will soon find out why.
- Being vulnerable isn't always comfortable, but it's so much easier and takes much more courage to ask for support when you need it then trying to do everything all alone.
- You must be happy being alone before you can be happy in a relationship. How do you do this? Be nicer to yourself and get to know who's in there. Learn to love the places that hurt.
- The outer expression of your life is a reflection of your inner reality.
- Judging yourself gets you nowhere. The same goes for judging others.
- Forgiveness of yourself and others just makes life easier. That includes your parents. They did the best they could with what they had.
- What you admire in others, you possess somewhere inside of you.
- Personal growth, soul searching, spiritual awakenings, therapy and any other form of self-help are things to be proud of, not ashamed of.
- You are not your old issues anymore.
- Gratitude is essential.
-True friends love you equally on the best day of your life and the worst day of your life.
- You are worthy of love.
- It's not your business what other people think of you.
- Losing ten pounds won't make you any happier.
- You find out who your true friends are when you have to move.
- It is completely acceptable to put yourself $11,000 in debt if your dog needs surgery.
- The worst part about being single is having to stuff the duvet into the cover alone every time you wash it.
- Matzoh crackers and coconut water are the best cure for hangovers and the healthiest option available.
- If you consistently date men in finance and it's not working, there's a reason.
- It's 2011. If someone gives the excuse that they've lost their phone as a reason for not returning your call for a week they are lying.
- If your friends act like they are living a fairy tale life, they're lying.
-If your bed is in your kitchen, you need a bigger apartment. I don't care if you live in Manhattan.
- At 30, it's not acceptable to date men you meet on South Beach.
- If you don't have any close female friends, you're the problem not them.
- If you desperately want a man, get a dog first. You own him, snip him and put him on a leash and drag him around. The only crap in the relationship is his and you can just toss that in the trash.
- If a man asks you to feel the weight of his black credit card, RUN!
- It's easy to bash men, but they have their own struggles in life just like we do.
- When you're 30, memory loss begins to set in. We had some other good ones but I already forgot them!
In closing, as my dear friend said before we fell asleep, " We are very wise young ladies. I know we know all that is listed and yet our true test is our ability to apply it all daily... weekly if we are lucky enough." Isn't that the truth?