When I was little I dreamed of having a family with a handsome man that loved me and creating a home in a big beautiful house overlooking a mountain. I would cook. We would laugh. A dog would run around the backyard playing fetch. Some days I would sit on a chair in my office (which also overlooked the mountain) with a notepad and pen on my lap listening to a woman talk, helping her.
You know what happened to that dream? I forgot about it.
I grew up and began to learn about money. About having to get a job to earn money. Money became SUPER important to me. The more I had the more I wanted and the more scared I was of losing it. And no matter how much I had I still didn't feel safe or like I could enjoy it.
I grew up and experienced arsehole guys. Got my heart trampled on enough times to believe that no guy would ever love me back. And because of that belief I experienced hurt after hurt.
I grew up and got stuck in routine. The same thing every day... waking up, going to work, hating my job, coming home and being tired. Just wanting it to be the weekend and then feeling so angry on a Sunday night because it meant I had work the next day.
I made decision after decision and then eventually found myself at 23 with a mortgage of my own, a nice car, a well-paying job, and a handsome man that loved me but I still felt like something was missing.
This feeling like I wasn't where I was meant to be.
I still get that feeling sometimes but now I know what it means... it means that the thing I am fearing the most is the thing that I need to do. Whether it's committing money to something, letting go of something or taking up an opportunity that scares the crap out of me, I now know that that's what I need to do to move forward.
I never want to be bored again. I never want to feel stuck again. I never want to hate my life again.
For so long though I ignored that feeling because of the FEAR of what other people would think... in particular my parents. Even writing this I'm so damn scared that they'll read this and feel disappointed in me for sharing, for being honest, for doing what I do - but that just tells me that I need to write it!
For SO LONG I made decisions that they thought were right. Maybe it was right to them and in every situation I knew that they were just wanting the best for me but so many times I knew in my gut that I wasn't living my truth.
I know you do this too. I know that you're not following your heart because of what someone else will think. Maybe it's your partner, maybe it's your best friend or like me maybe it's your parents.
There comes a time in your life (not an age) when you FEEL that you need to step up to your worth and take control of your life. You need to feel the fear and do it anyway. You need to know that right or wrong -- this decision is right for you and the ones that love you will support you even though sometimes it might be hard for them to.
Maybe it's the fear of quitting that job you HATE and everyone thinking you're a failure. Maybe it's the fear of breaking up with your long-term partner and everyone thinking you're crazy. Maybe it's the fear of investing some money in you and everyone thinking you're stupid. That fear you feel is The Universe letting you know that beyond THAT door is where you need to go. And once you do, the right things for you will come with EASE. You will create your own magic.
I remembered my dream not too long ago. And ever since then I've made decisions that have lead me closer and closer to that dream. And in return The Universe keeps making it easier and easier for me to get there. It's so vivid now, it feels so close. It's so right.
Because that's exactly how it works. It's not luck. It's you overcoming your fear and creating your magic. It's YOUR time to step up babe It's YOUR time for life to be easy.
Click here to learn more about what I do -- let your fear take you where you need to go.