THE BLOG
01/14/2016 03:51 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How Quitting Often Helped Me Realize My Greatest Dream

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Writing my first book was easy.

It all started with a dream. The key is not to just pursue any dream, but to stay alert about what comes natural to you. You are more likely to realize a dream that is aligned with your natural talents.

How did I discover that my greatest dream was writing a book? How did I know what to quit? And how could I still be at peace if I would have never realized it?

I'll answer these and more questions in this article.

It's a very personal. I show you how I am not perfect, and that I am still in the process of figuring things out, like how to make a living as writer, and do it all in a peaceful manner.

At the end I answer the question:

What is more important realizing your greatest dream or cultivating inner peace?

I've also included a nice tweetable truth for you. So, let's start.

I've stopped to count how many times I have "launched" my dream. Probably 6 times in the past two years. That's a metaphor for my life: Quit and begin again.

My struggle of figuring out what I wanted to do with my life:

But every time I quit, I got one step closer to what my talents are and what I wanted to do with my life. This 9th episode is going to be a more personal episode in which I'll tell you how quitting often helped me realize my greatest dream and discover my talents.

I started out online with helping people doubling their reading speed. I got about 140 people on my email list in a month. One person wanted to have 1:1 coaching with me. I got quite obsessed about it. Then I quit.

I thought building a software business would be better aligned with what I wanted to do with my life. So, I spent all my money and borrowed a few thousand euros from my parents to take an online course that would help me start my own software company. Halfway through the program I got more stressed and frustrated. I spent more time lying on the floor like a baby than sitting in the chair building my business. Then I quit.

Even realizing what I thought to be my childhood dream didn't help:

In the meantime I had submitted my Master thesis in Physics and published the summaries of my findings in a scientific journal. Since I was a child I thought becoming a scientist is what I wanted to do with my life. In 2014 I received my Master's degree that I had been working so hard for over seven years. Then I quit.

I had developed an interest in human nature and writing. I enjoyed reading books about psychology and copywriting. I started to copy sales letters by hand. One day a CEO of a software company in New York City invited me to write promotional emails for him. Then a coach and trainer from Boston asked me to write the website copy for him. Both enjoyed my work while I was living in Barcelona. Then I quit.

Why I went back to where I came from to restart again from scratch:

I went back into the basement of my parents' house that I had left eight years ago to begin again. I spent a few weeks doing nothing, but reading, writing and walking.

One day I realized that what I really wanted to do before anything else was to write a book. I started to write down how I helped my sister lose over 80 pounds in 12 months in a natural way. I had a title, a cover and a quarter of the book already written. Then I quit.

I knew I wanted to write my first book, but I didn't know how to fill the space between the front and back cover. I had already created a folder where I kept all my potential book ideas and some notes. I also had two boxes of over 40 notebooks that I had filled over the past four years with observations, experiences, quotes, life lessons and stories.

How my dream of writing my first book came true nearly effortless:

As I looked through the notes, I felt an inner response. I transcribed some of my notes into Scrivener - a word processor. After I had "exhausted" all my notes, I organized them into similar daily life topics. I would open a new topic and spend two to four days taking notes.

Over few weeks something started to take shape. It took me four months to finish the first draft. There was something fundamentally different compared to my other endeavors. I enjoyed the doing so much that I didn't care about the outcome. I still didn't quit.

I had no deadline or daily word count, but just conserved few morning hours for writing. I sat down and was at peace with whatever would come out of me. There were days when I wrote nothing or only deleted words, and days where I wrote several pages. Finally, I published my book.

When you stay alert and aware of your intuition, with each "quit" you'll get one step closer to your dream. To find out what to quit you need to become peaceful and silent first. Your head is still attached to what you have produced and does not want to let go, but your heart has moved on and wants you to trust in it.

A short section from my book:

"To take one right step, you have to take a thousand wrong steps. No wonder you'll get depressed when you focus on your outcomes." - Page 89, unlimited freedom

Click here to tweet: Dreamers quit often, but they never give up. If you've failed before, let's begin again. @fabimarkl

Even if I would have never achieved my dream I could still live in peace. And once inner peace becomes your priority not your dream, you've entered the awakened life.

My dream is merely my way of playing with the transient forms of the world knowing that they will ultimately all dissolve.

What was the last thing you quit and what lesson did you learn from it about yourself?

Leave a comment below. I'll read and reply to them all.