08/13/2013 03:41 pm ET Updated Oct 13, 2013

You Can Keep Your Fancy Cold Brew Recipe!

First appeared on Food Riot, by Rebecca Joines-Schinsky

Is it me, or has the foodternet recently exploded with recipes and how-tos for cold-brew coffee, as if the notion is somehow brand new? How is this even a thing right now? I mean, I like a good cup of cold coffee as much as the next girl, and I live on the stuff from April to October, when Richmond's southern weather is too warm for me to think about putting three cups of hot liquid into my body first thing in the morning, but what gives with the late surge of enthusiasm? And why does cold brew seem so mysterious and complicated that it even deserves online recipes?

There are simple recipes like Thug Kitchen's two-ingredient method, and there's The Pioneer Woman's make-it-in-bulk method, which involves a giant plastic cube (who has room for that in their fridge?) and straining with cheesecloth. The Smitten Kitchen version calls for grinding multiple types of beans and straining not once but twice. And it only gets crazier from there.

But people, it's just cold coffee! It's delicious and refreshing, yes, but it's also one of the simplest things to make. So simple, in fact, that we insult the intelligence of our fellow residents of the foodternet when we write long, detailed posts filled with food porn photography explaining how to make it. Also, who the fuck is awake enough first thing in the morning to manage cheesecloth and strainers and a multi-step process?

Want to make cold-brew coffee? Here's a little gift from present you to future you: scoop some coffee into your French press. Whatever kind of coffee blows your skirt up, however much you like. Fill it with cold water. Put it in the fridge overnight. Shuffle into the kitchen the next morning in full-on zombie mode, and lean on the plunger until you can plunge no more. Maybe fall halfway back to sleep while you're doing it. Take a sip and think about all the suckers who are still on the straining step while you're on the road to caffeinated happiness.

Like to plan ahead for a midday coffee break? Rinse out the press and start over in the morning, then plunge mid-afternoon. Or be lazy (I prefer to think of it as efficient) like I am and buy two French presses so there's always one in rotation. Whatever. Coffee is a simple pleasure. Let's keep it simple. Stop the insanity.

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