It's a new year and all that.
Unfortunately, your taste in potential long-term, stable companionship is, shall we say, still in 2013 mode, which likely isn't much different from what it was in 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008. You get where I'm going. If you're one of those women whose resolution for this year is to be a bit more discerning in your choices for romantic partnerships, I'm going to help hold you to that promise.
Whether you are newly single or have been slying solo for quite a while, perhaps it's time to flip the game in order for you to make sparks fly. Maybe it's time to accept an extremely difficult and disheartening truth:
You suck at choosing partners.
Say it with me, "I suck at choosing partners." It feels better when you actually own it, doesn't it? The truly sad part is that you've known this about yourself for as long as you can remember. But what's the point of acknowledging the problem if you're not offered solutions? Here's mine:
Turn the job over to your best guy friends.
Why the guys? Let's do this by process of elimination:
Parents: Mom and Dad should NEVER be involved in the picking process. You'd think that this would go without saying. You would think. I know how close you and the 'rents are. I know how much you value their opinions. But they haven't yet figured it out... you're a grown woman. No matter what, you'll always be their baby girl... which means lots of introductions to neighbors' kids. You don't want to date the neighbors' kids.
Girl friends: They're some of the worst. You love 'em. They mean well, but they're barely able to find their own relationships. Plus, let's be honest, there's lots of down-low haters in your group of gal pals. If they're single, they're competition -- no matter how close you are.
YOU: Your track record speaks for itself.
But, your best guy friends? They're the answer! Provided these guys are really friends and not guys waiting for their own chance to hook up with you, they could be your best bet. Your guy friends know you. They're protective of you without being overbearing and possessive. They've got a far better BS detector when it comes to potential matches because -- let's keep it real -- it takes one to know one! The added bonus is that your best guy friends have friends! And I can tell you from experience, when it comes to friends who may want to connect with my girl friends, like most men, I'm incredibly picky without being paranoid.
Ask any of your male friends if they'd ever set you up with any of their buddies and you're likely to hear an answer that sounds very similar to this, "Hey, I love my boys but there's no way I'd let you go out with any of them except for maybe __________."
Then you make your inquiry about _________. Whoever _________ happens to be.
Seriously, this stuff isn't rocket science, but we sure do make it seem like it requires a PhD, don't we?
It's so easy to get lost in our own thoughts about which Mister or Miss Right should be that we may have a tendency to over think the entire getting-to-know-you process. Step back, take a breath, and let someone else do the hard work for you every now and then. What have you got to lose?