Here's Why Your Engagement Photos Suck

I ask you, does a photo faking you're being whisked away by a balloon genuinely depict who you are and your emotions?
03/19/2014 03:46 pm ET Updated May 19, 2014

In his suicide note he wrote these three words: "I am bored."

He was a film star. Appeared in Hitchcock movies. Had won an Academy Award. Lived a golden life.

But then things turned painfully ordinary.

And that's the state of affairs right now with engagement and wedding photography: The ordinary is boring us to death.

I dare you, right now, to think up one awesome, great engagement photo idea.

You think you can as you recall the great mass of engagement picture ideas you see out there crowding Pinterest boards and Facebook profiles.

But are they great engagement photos ideas? Hmmm. Well, there's two people holding some kind of giant prop. It's an oversized balloon! Over there's an engagement photo of someone blowing a kiss to their sweetheart in front of a chalkboard with kisses drawn flying from him to her. Cute. Here's one where the couple's jumping. Standing by a graffiti wall. Tracing a heart with their fingers. Standing on a railroad track. Here's a photo where the couple are vamping around pretending to be overly-serious models on a fashion shoot -- which they're not. Here's one where the couple each holds a sign: His says "I proposed" and hers says "I said yes."

But that's not what I'm looking for.

I'm bored.

I tell you, all those types of engagement photo ideas are so mind-numbingly dull. And a dime a dozen.

Why do engaged couples who want engagement photos have to be content with getting routine uninspired, cookie-cutter poses?

Perhaps they see it and believe that's all there is?

Don't sleepwalk through your life like that. Wake up!

None of those photos have the element of artistry. None of those inspire people to breathlessly say, "Wow, oh my God, that looks beautiful." None of them. Ever.

Why can't they?

Maybe it's that I'm asking too much.

Or maybe it's that no one else is demanding there be more.

You'd think being in NYC, we'd be on the leading edge of photography but when it comes to engagement photos, we're not. We stand a few hundred feet away from the edge, cowering. Frightened by the edge. Fearful to move.

But it's more frightening to stay right where we are.

We need ourselves an art revolution around these here parts. We need to be free from the shackles binding us to the ordinary mundane world of copycat photographs.

There's legions of photos of couples doing something stupid for the camera. Don't you see? They're taking away our individuality. They're holding our aesthetics hostage. They're turning us into caricatures. Rise up!

I ask you, does a photo faking you're being whisked away by a balloon genuinely depict who you are and your emotions?

Let's change the paradigm. Because it needs changing.

And have couples masterfully photographed in an artistic, soulful way.

Creating a rendition worthy of hanging in a gallery.

Let's fire that first shot.

Vive la rᅢᄅvolution!