by Meredith Bodgas, Glamour
Not that anyone needs to remind you, but wedding planning can suck. So it shouldn't surprise you that there's a book out called Planning Your Wedding Sucks. Luckily, it's not just a bunch of brides complaining (though there's some of that) -- there's some really good advice like...
Know how to have the money talk with your parents.
It's not easy, but you've got to sit down with dear old mom and dad if you're hoping they'll chip in to pay for the wedding. The way to make the chat successful? Be frank about what you're hoping your wedding will be like, ask if they'd feel comfortable contributing, and kiss ass (just a little bit).
Stay organized and you'll stay on budget.
It's not a bad idea to check out online budgeting tools, where you enter your overall budget and get a suggested breakdown of how much to spend on each item. But after that, make your own Excel spreadsheet where you keep track of every single fee you've paid and have yet to pay (with vendors' names and contact info). I definitely referred to my own spreadsheet before I booked or bought anything to remind me how much I really had left.
Don't go to crazy bridal shows.
Coming up with your vision and finding vendors can be fun. But those gigantic bridal shows with over-the-top wedding centerpieces and pushy limo owners insisting that you have to arrive in a Mercedes stretch limo or your wedding will be ruined will only serve to stress you out. So skip these (especially since the free gift bags are never so fabulous anyway).
Delegate, delegate, delegate.
Tracking down your future in-laws' former neighbors for their addresses really is impossible. So don't. Make it your guy's parents' responsibility. If they have to have them there as much as they say, they won't mind. Same goes for any other task. If someone else would be happy to take it on, let her.
Get outside opinions.
If your mom or mother-in-law (or dad or father-in-law, for that matter) is insisting that something has to be done a certain way (and you know that it SO doesn't), bring in a third party to weigh in. Sometimes, it takes an outsider to get these people off your back--and it's as simple as having the unbiased outsider tell the stuck-in-the-past offender, "Of course she doesn't have to have a receiving line!"
And if they're still making wedding planning a nightmare...
Remind them what it's like to be the bride. "Did your mom try to take over your wedding?" Odds are, the answer will be yes, and that's why she's using your wedding as her second chance. But ask her to think about how crappy she felt back then. As the authors so cleverly say, "That slap in the face of reality might hold up a mirror to her own behavior."
Full disclosure, I've worked with one of the book's co-writers before, but the book really taught me a few things and it's funny, so check it out!
What part of wedding planning is giving you the most trouble? Would you try any of these tactics? Think any of these are not-so-hot ideas?
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