01/28/2009 02:16 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Picket Lines

  • There haven't been this many rich Jews doing laps since the Friars Club closed their swimming pool.
  • Turns out that Halloween was the last chance for a lot of Hollywood actors to perform. I opened up my front door and there was a guy dressed as Charlie Sheen. Then I realized it was actually Emilio Estevez. For his sake I really hope this strike ends soon.
  • Prepare to see a lot of writers, actors and directors standing around trying not to look 45. They will be going in circles, drinking coffee and complaining about trying to get the Producers to come to their senses. So it's business as usual.
  • My son refused to do his homework last night. He said he was showing solidarity to the writers strike. The work eventually got done. Luckily my wife is a scab.
  • Fox was forced to let its one writer go.
  • This is the least attractive picket line in history. Hopefully the actors will strike soon to give us a facelift.
  • The networks have concluded that the world doesn't need written material anymore. When you can see crotch shots of former musketeers and the trials of your favorite celebrities turned killers, why make stuff up? The Boston Red Sox winning a second World Series proved that life is funnier than anything we can script.
  • I really hope there are no scab writers trying to cross the picket line. Nobody needs to see that kind of Nerd on Nerd violence: Two pasty fat guys slap fighting and screaming lines from Star Wars and Revenge of The Nerds.