THE BLOG
07/27/2012 10:45 am ET Updated Sep 26, 2012

Pirates Take on Spike's Bar Rescue

I have an affinity for Spike TV's Bar Rescue. Last season I was on an episode filmed in the Orange County at a biker bar named the Canyon Inn Sports Bar & Grill. (God bless Spike TV; they gave me an open bar tab!) My duty was to step up to the plate and drunkenly swing for the cheap seats -- in the name of blogging journalism.

If you're not familiar with the show, here's the skinny: Bar Rescue is like Kitchen Nightmares -- but with bars. Instead of Gordon Ramsey dishing out the tough love, we have renowned bar and restaurant consultant Jon Taffer. (Think of him as Gordon Barsey.) Under Taffer's watchful eye, his bar-transforming-posse traverses the country to give failing watering holes one last chance to succeed. Heads butt. Tempers flair. Taffer's in-your-face approach rocks the establishment's old guard in an attempt to turn the place around into a profitable drinking joint.

Taffer's motto: "Fixing bars is easy; fixing people is tough."

Bar Rescue is a classic clash of the Titans: good vs. evil, Coke vs. Pepsi, The Simpsons vs. Family Guy. With friction between egos, you hope to see the following on every episode:

-A chef running out of the kitchen with the seat of his pants on fire!

-Taffer and the bar manager angrily spraying each other with seltzer bottles!

-A pie fight!

Bar Rescue certainly has its hands full in the season opener. Taffer is sent to fix an establishment called Piratz Tavern. If you haven't guessed, it's a pirate-themed bar run by a group of friends who like to dress as pirates. (Sounds like a formula for disaster, doesn't it?)

This 1-star Yelp reviews tell the story:

The staff here all dress up as pirates. at first it seems fun, then you realize all of the staff is there to play pirate and not work, so the service is terrible, the food is OK but over priced. I will fight tooth and nail before I go back.

Who will win: Taffer or the pirates? Tune in to Spike TV on Sunday and find out! Check out a little video taste: