Note: Do not read on unless you've seen Season 3, Episode 10 of ABC Family's "Pretty Little Liars," entitled "What Lies Beneath."
Who knew a botched plant delivery could lead to such interesting findings? Hanna discovers a note from Maya to Emily on the patio while shifting the unwanted, extra-large foliage.
The Pretty Little Liars meet up with Hanna so she can show and tell. Maya wrote that she had something to show Emily, but not to contact her via phone because someone stole it. Hanna and Aria decide she must have found something that proves Garrett killed Ali.
When the girls take a closer look at the moth-bitten, rain soaked note, they realize there's a date, which happens to be the day Mona died.
The next day, Aria is over at a boxer-clad Ezra's. Does she sleep there? It continues to be unclear. She's buttering or cream-cheesing some jalapeno bagels with a serious frown on her face. "They def look like Lenders," my mom says. "Rosewood does not have a bagel store."
Suddenly, she asks Ezra, "How much would you have to pay someone to fall off the face of the Earth?" Aria wants to know how much Mrs. Fitzgerald paid Maggie. He doesn't know because he could never reach her. Aria wonders why he didn't tell her about Maggie sooner. There is a lot of eyebrow raising.
Meanwhile, Hanna is at The Brew, looking at MASSugar.com to figure something out about where Maya wanted to meet Emily when Wren walks in. He says he hasn't stopped thinking about what happened, but she crushes his scrub-wearing ass and says it can't happen again, citing his history with Spencer and her situation with Caleb as reasons why.
Later, outside Rosewood High, Spencer asks Em if there's a place she used to go with Maya (the cabin-esque place Emily recently brought Nate) and suggests they go together and check it out.
Emily quickly changes the subject and asks about Toby. He called Spencer last night and she's happy he's gone ... so she doesn't have to lie because, as Emily says, lying to Toby is like "lying to the Dalai Lama." Really? REALLY?!
Paige stops by in a cut off t-shirt (because she's a lesbian now) and has to skip lunch with Emily -- she's about to meet with the swim coach and hopes she's going to find out that she's doing the last leg of the relay.
Inside the school, which is still not a place for learning, Ella is having brie, fresh bread, tomatoes and hummus with Zack, the owner of The Brew, over a desk -- you know, the ones attached to the seats. Zack's also brought some Prosecco but Ella passes because she doesn't want to be "slurring her way through the iambic pentameter." "Oh my God," my mom exclaims, "Ella really does friggin' live in her classroom."
Just after they lean in for a kiss, Aria enters, as any student could since Zella are making out in a classroom in the middle of the day with the door open. "Zack looks like he should be her son," my mom says. "She should really not be kissing him on the lips." While a wide-eyed Aria seems horrified, as does Ella, Zack holds his own and offers her a bite. After three solid seconds of awkward silence, Zack leaves to stuff cannolis and Ella and Aria have some girl talk -- basically about how young Zack is. "Ella is a cougar ... and a ho," my mom says. But really, Aria? You're going to take up age?
School's over apparently (another hard day of learning) and Emily stops by Hanna's. She has blown up Maya's photos, printed them all out and organized them by date and location -- it's quite creepy. But then she explains to Emily -- it's because Caleb knows about A. She and Emily analyze the photos and realize that she was standing in front of the Kahn's Kabin in broad daylight. "That was so 'Parent Trap,'" my mom notes, "piecing together the pics to see 'Kahn.'"
As I think about Oreos and peanut butter and young ginger LiLo, Hanna says that because Maya was in her PJ's in the pictures, it looks like she stayed over. Sorry, Em.
Back at school -- everyone besides Spencer has given up on learning -- Ms. Hastings walks right up to Noel after talking to Em and Hanna. She says he lied and asks what Maya was to him. Turns out, so he claims, he hooked Maya up with weed once in a while. "It's kind of hot knowing you think I'm capable of murder," he says, before she storms off and he walks away with a scarily emotionless look.
Nate stops by The Brew to stalk tell Emily Maya's band, The Owl Kings, are back together. But the subject soon changes when he sees Jenna and Noel kissing and she ignores him. "The way she looked past me, you'd think she was still blind," he says harshly. When Emily walks away to make his cappuccino, he approaches Jenna and says he has a gift for her. The conversation gets heated and Nate storms out after Jenna pretty much tells him to talk to the hand. "Jenna looks old in the hands. That's how you tell," I say to my mom. "It' s a tell tale sign -- that's how you know I'm not really 39 and neither is Ella." The woman will seize any opportunity to bash Ella -- and lie about her age.
Emily texts Spencer to tell her that Noel's on his way to practice and "opportunity knocks," i.e. it's time for her to go snooping in his locker.
Before leaving school, Ella heads over to Aria's locker and reveals she's dating not just Zack, but Luke and Jim as well. Cue Aria's moment of realization that her mom is slutty. But Ella says it's "just coffee" and besides, she's willing to kiss a few frogs to find her prince. Vomit. "What's wrong with Ella's left eye? Is she winking or squinting?" my mom wonders.
Paige meets up with Emily at The Brew and she has some bad news -- not only is she not closing the relay, but she's no longer allowed to swim in the county meet because she got a C on her trig test. She's bummed so Emily has two solutions: 1) A movie later and some Chinese and 2) Two goodbye kisses. Paige finally smiles.
Spencer sneaks into the boys' locker room and picks the lock on Noel's locker. "I'm scared for her," my mom says. "It must stink in there and she looks so pretty." Horrifying. She gets in the locker, grabs Noel's phone and sneaks behind some equipment when two guys come in and disrobe. Spencer raises her eyebrow. Bow Chica Bow Wow.
She looks up Maya's name in Noel's phone, but it yields no results. She puts the phone back right as Noel and the team enter. He sees her, asks if he can "help" her and she runs out. "Wow. That was too easy of an exit. The other guys didn't even notice her," my mom says. "Perhaps it's because she's so skinny?" I wonder.
While at the brew with Ezra, Aria approaches Zack at The Brew and they chat about The Clash. He reveals he's not dating anyone else and thinks Ella is "awesome" and "really funny." "He thinks Ella is funny? Funny looking," my mom's fifth-grade self says. To be fair, she does have a vamp tooth.
Em and Hanna head to the Kahn's Kabin and sneak in, without seeing the security camera follow them. Apparently, my mom's not scared for them. "I hate to say it, but Hanna and Emily have camel toe in their jeans," she says. Not worried about fixing themselves, the girls search the place and eventually, they find a secret door amidst the red Solo cups, deer heads and bras.
Behind the door, they see a sleeping bag and a duffle that has Maya's stuff in it. Amongst her things is a blade that's engraved with the initials "L.J." plus a card Em gave to Ali on her 14th birthday. Emily assumes she found it amongst Ali's things, but this is looking very fishy. Plus, there's a ticket proving she never left Rosewood for San Francisco. Suddenly, the door slams and so do the shutters. Then, the lights go out and I'm pretty much pissing myself.
Spencer gets an email from a blocked account with the subject, "Is this what you were looking for?" The body says, "Stay out of my locker!" and has a giant bouncing yellow smiley face. Attached, there's a surveillance video from April 12 of the Kahn Kabin. She thinks it's the footage from the night Maya died.
Em and Hanna are trying to get out -- there's no cell service so they try breaking out. Hanna tries to use the "L.J." blade they found, but ends up getting a gash in her leg and hot pink pants. Em wraps Hanna's leg up and finally breaks out, carrying a hobbling Hanna and Maya's duffle.
Outside the house, they see a red message on the fence.
"I'm saving you for later. -A"
When they get to Hanna's house, Emily calls the only person she thinks could help. No, not a parent -- Wren. "Where is Hanna's mother of the year?" my mom wonders. "Schtooping the pastor," I suggest.
With the island as his operating table, Wren stitches up Hanna's thigh. Hanna tells him she was cutting a carrot and the knife fell. Though he's suspicious, he accepts her story for the moment. He makes her some food because she can't take her antibiotics on an empty stomach and some flirting ensues, but in the end Hanna turns him away. "This Wren/Hanna thing is making me unhappy," Haleb's No. 1 fan says. "His only plus is that he is British."
Nate is on Em's front porch when she gets home and apologizes for freaking out at The Brew. He admits that he's just upset about Maya. Emily knows how he feels and shows him what's in the duffle. He cries into one of Maya's shirts. They hug and their faces stay close together as they pull away. I start screaming, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" at the screen. But for some reason, Emily doesn't listen. They kiss just as Paige walks up with the Chinese food.
Paige goes from smiley to stunned and she simply turns around, throws the Chinese and knocks over a garbage can. My mom and I are typing in caps. We feel really bad for Paige.
Emily is oblivious and as Nate pours his heart out about how he's wanted to kiss her for a long time, Em gets a text. It's from Paige. "Sorry, not feeling well. Need to cancel."
Over at Ezra's, the couple that was once Ezria seems to be more like Ezra and Aria again. They're so distant and Aria asks if they're fighting without actually fighting. The cold Ezra admits he found Maggie ... in Delaware, but he hasn't reached out to her yet.
Zella have a late night drink at The Brew and he gushes about how "sexy" she is. They decide to "give this a shot" and then make out. Gross.
Meanwhile, Spencer is sitting in the dark watching the surveillance tape and looking pretty bored. But just as her interest dwindles, she sees Maya ride up and almost look right at the security camera. She calls over Aria and as they review the time stamp on the tape and the police report, they realize Garrett was not the last person to see Maya alive.
That's why they think Noel sent Spencer the video. But was it really Noel?
The next day, Emily stops by Paige's meet and she says she was "sick to [her] stomach." Em says Nate stopped by and though Paige presses her, she doesn't fess up before Paige has to hit the pool.
Back at Spencer's, apparently, Aria and Spencer have spent the night in front of the computer, as they're in the same clothes. But Hanna's taking her first look. As they continue to watch, they see Noel and Blind Jenna pull up in Blind Jenna's car, kiss and head inside. Right after, Maya sneaks out from behind the house and when she stops by the car, a shadow appears and someone yanks her off screen, dropping her beret.
By the time on the surveillance video, Garrett had been arrested and Jenna and Noel were inside. So who killed Maya? What did she want to tell Emily? Wasn't Maya's body found at her house in Rosewood? And where's her beret?
Then, we see A watching the news in what appears to be a hotel room. The anchor reveals a jury is being selected for Garrett's case and Veronica Hastings is expected to make a statement. As A hangs up five hoodies (does this mean there are five people in the A Team?), s/he switches the channel to "Wheel ... Of ... Fortune."
With only two episodes left, I hope at least one of these questions is answered and "Pretty Little Liars" steps up its game. The fear factor has seriously dwindled since the dolls hospital episode. Bring back, Mon-A!