Find Lasting Fulfillment in Your Relationship

We all have a basic desire to feel love and cultivate relationships of all kinds, but above all, we hunger for a committed romantic relationship.
11/24/2015 04:51 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

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We all have a basic desire to feel love and cultivate relationships of all kinds, but above all, we hunger for a committed romantic relationship.

Feeling deeply in love with another person is an immediate, heart-opening experience. I believe Synchronicity is timed so perfectly that two people who are born at a certain time, from certain parents end up making choices that lead them together. At the start of your relationship you feel deeply in love, however, even in the best circumstances, over time you may find it hard to sustain high energy levels because you've got to live life; you've got to raise the children and survive economically in a challenging economic climate.

Consequently, at this time in history, we are experiencing a sense of being grounded in our experiences. Those who are seeking a higher spiritual connection are being led to follow their destiny. The problem is, relationships are taking it on the chin. People are divorcing at the drop of a hat. You have relationships that are like ongoing wars. It's a mess.

So, the question remains, "How do we find lasting fulfillment in our relationships?"

  • Connect With Your Inner-Truth

One of the greatest secrets to long-term happiness in your relationship is feeling secure within yourself. As we have authentic spiritual experiences, we recognize an inner security that comes from a deep place inside. It feels like a never-ending flow of love and support. When you lose yourself in your relationship, you lose your inner connection to God's presence. I'm talking about losing the center of your being, the peaceful, loving essence that is the main measure of spirituality.

Your relationship is the joining of two hearts and two minds, but one of the stumbling blocks we face is we want to project this need for security onto another person. No other person can give us that much love, that much attention, that much anything, so we know that we have to put God first. It begins with a prayerful visualization, an affirmation that each of us can have a higher spiritual awareness and have our needs met by connecting with our truest self.

  • Work Towards a Deeper Spiritual Connection Together

When you join the experience of spirituality with the experience of loving another person, your relationship will grow in a way unimaginable. Praying together, following your Intuitions, etc.. will naturally change your point of view from self-involved to giving. To achieve real fulfillment in your relationship, ask yourself, what is the best way to enrich your partner's experience? As this becomes the pattern, you will see how the loving, giving energy being returned to you.

With that being said, you may find yourself in a relationship where you are growing your spirituality but your partner doesn't desire this path; an atheists, maybe. People have written me explaining this is a large problem: "I'm pursuing spirituality while my partner is watching football. What do I do?"

The answer is, if you have a loving relationship with your partner, you CAN bridge this gap. My best advice is to listen to your partner. Do this without an agenda and see how they return the courtesy. If the heart is there, it will help make up for the problem because everyone must come to their spiritual connection in their own time. Pray that your partner will break through and find personal evidence that there is something larger guiding us. Often, we find people are most influenced by watching how we live and seeing the joy and security we feel.

  • Work to overcome your Control Dramas

Particularly when we are under stress and disconnected spiritually, we tend to seek the energy we need from others by force. We pursue gaining control over someone else because of the security it brings us.

When humans join minds, there becomes an issue of who's going to be smartest and control the larger mind. However, we can take the steps to transcend and interpret control drama's on a much deeper level, both spiritually and psychologically by being realistic about what is going on in the relationship.

You may both be playing out a control drama. One person could be the Interrogator, while the other person is running from the control of that energy by playing the Poor Me drama or acting Aloof.

There is a resolution here: Name the game and work toward authentic conversations. When you recognize a controlling behavior, say how you feel. "I'm being intimidated." Don't worry if the other person denies what's going on. You set yourself free.

  • Be Honest When You Communicate

As you communicate, make sure that you're clearing the air by moving into an authentic discussion. Out of this honesty, you will both naturally self-correct and work towards sharing the leadership, moment to moment. The "head of the household stuff," that's all wrong! The ideal alternative is to share the power as you both receive intuitive guidance on how to be giving and lead the relationship.

"Our relationships are the spice of life; a training area for us to hold our connection with God."

Love is the main measure of spirituality working in your life. The ultimate change exists in the quality of your emotions; an inner security and love that will naturally lead you out of the pain in your life. It's always a matter of coming back to love.

Opening your heart and having honest conversations, allows you to transcend your control dramas and find lasting happiness and fulfillment in your relationships.