12/10/2014 12:53 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

I Recently Reached My Dream Weight... And Why It Doesn't Matter Anymore


I always wanted to reach that one special number on the scale.

That magic number that meant that I had arrived. Life was going to be amazing now. I was going to feel confident now. I was going to find love now. I was going to get attention now.

You know how that goes, and you're probably sitting there nodding your head thinking about your magic number.

Your dream weight.

A few months ago I went to my doctor for a yearly checkup. He asked to weigh me, so without thinking twice, I got on the scale. I don't have a scale at home, so I wasn't sure of my weight at the time.

I stepped on the scale and he read me the number. I reacted as if he had just told me my hair was brown. The number was just a number, there was no emotion attached to it.

It wasn't until hours later that I got home and the number popped into my head that I realized -- holy shit -- the doctor read me my magic number. I am at my "Dream Weight."

This caused me to stop what I was doing and sit down on my couch and reflect on this.

Why is it that when I stopped striving for this number, it actually happened?

And why is it that it means nothing to me at this point?

I came to the realization that the reason it doesn't matter is that this time around, I got happy first, before the weight came off.

I was happy and living the life I wanted 30 pounds ago, so now, the only thing that's different is that my pants are a smaller size.

A couple of years ago I decided I was going to stop dieting and that I couldn't waste one more day fighting my weight and fighting myself. So I decided to live and to get happy immediately.

I started dating.

I worked on all of my relationships.

I booked trips I'd been wanting to take.

I started working with multiple coaches.

I forced myself to be present when out with my friends instead of counting the calories of the beer in my head the entire time.

I got rid of clothes that didn't fit and gradually got new ones that made me feel great.

I quit my job and started my business.

I ate top notch food.

I cooked decadent recipes.

I learned what it looked like to take incredible care of my emotions, my heart, and my body.

I quit the gym and started going on long walks instead.

I fell in love and got comfortable feeling sexy in my skin no matter what.

I learned who I was outside of food and my body. I discovered new passions, what lit me up, and what made me happy.

I met myself again.

And of course, the happier I got and the more I took care of myself and my needs, the less I turned to food.

Over a long period of time at a very slow pace, my weight gradually dropped.

So here I sit, at my dream weight, and life is no better or worse than it was 30 or 40 pounds ago. The only difference is that my pants are a smaller size. That is it.

I'm sure that throughout my life as a woman, my weight will fluctuate. Hopefully one day I will have kids and who knows what else my body will go through.

But what I know now is that happiness, love, and a great life have nothing to do with the number on the scale.

We can live with confidence, sexiness, great love, and total happiness regardless of our weight.

If you're struggling with your weight and thinking that when you lose weight, everything will just be better, easier and you'll be happier, I want you to dig a little deeper.

Do you really think that's true?

Will all of your problems be solved when you're finally that Dream Weight?

I've seen with myself and hundreds of women that the answer typically is no.

Happiness is an internal game. It comes from within. It has nothing to do with your weight.

So I would challenge you to think about this:

What do you think will be "fixed" or "better" when you lose weight? How can you work on creating that NOW?

That's where the beauty lies... in knowing that you have everything it takes to live and feel exactly how you want right now.

For more information on taking amazing care of yourself now and allowing the weight to naturally fall off, visit Jamie's website here.