I'm in a relationship. Thought you may have heard.
Facebook serves a lot of purposes. It allows people to: reconnect with long lost friends, cyber-scout their pals' pals to see who is hot, and generally kill time better spent stroking clients, closing deals or scheduling play dates.
But what Facebook does best is allow members to inform their friends of any and all "status changes" in their lives. Sometimes, these updates reverberate with importance -- Jamie is... Psyched that Universal greenlit the movie based on his book (Jamie will be quite psyched to type that someday, hopefully sooner than later) -- and sometimes they do not -- Jamie is... Pissed that Arby's no longer serves Homestyle Fries. Whenever a user updates her status or profile, Facebook instantly posts that change for all her friends to see... and comment on.
Profile updates carry the most weight, as these usually involve a change in love life status. Facebook offers six descriptors: Single, In A Relationship, Engaged, Married, It's Complicated, and In An Open Relationship (I've only seen two of these. Of course, I immediately emailed the mutual friends to set up "random" meetings at a bar.)
Until this week, my favorite Facebook moment occurs when one member of a longtime married couple finally gets around to completing his or her profile. This results in a Facebook update: John Smith is now married. Invariably, John's Facebook Friends remark on this development: "Does your wife know?" or "I'm sure your 13-year old is relieved to hear the news," etc. For some reason, that always cracks me up.
But then Sunday night, I updated my profile information, changing my status from Single (what it's been for the 15 months I've been Facebooking) to In A Relationship.
I anticipated some response to this news. As a lifelong bachelor with some questions about the merits of monogamy and the case for kids, I thought the report would register a ripple. Instead, it triggered a tidal wave.
There are certainly status updates within the Facebook universe that have sparked more commentary. But I've never seen them. And judging from the number of texts, emails and calls I've gotten from friends, no one I know has ever seen more comments, either.
What this says about me... I dunno. Or, maybe I don't wanna think about it. I'll let you scroll down, read for yourself and make your own judgment.
But I could be worse off. I could be my friend "Doyle."
Immediately upon seeing me today, he asked, "If a chick changes her Facebook status from It's Complicated to In An Open Relationship, what does that mean to you?"
I did not hesitate. "Means she's still banging the one guy, but can now also bang other guys. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you dating this girl?!"
Doyle looked like he might punch me or puke on me. "No! She's my teenaged daughter."
I know what you're thinking. You want to know if I asked him to set up a "random" meeting at a bar. What is wrong wth you???
I mean, I'm In a Relationship!
Edit
Jamie is listed as in a relationship. 11:20pm - 45 Comments
Sabrina at 11:43pm January 4
haha - well timing's a bitch:)
Jim at 1:52am January 5
Nice!!!! Wish I was you!
Maureen at 2:57am January 5
Very bold of you.
Kathleen at 5:06am January 5
Good for you! What's his name?
Jorge at 7:03am January 5
What's the over/under?
Jeremy at 8:04am January 5
I love to see that you have so many comedian friends. Now, is she on FB so we can go stalk her page?
Allan at 8:15am January 5
His name is Alan Ho. Did you all know Jamie's a celebrity?
Gina at 8:52am January 5
Hey congrats Jamie! I was going to make a witty comment about the book (and perhaps a sequel)...but I am too braindead right now...
Jamie Reidy at 9:08am January 5
His name is Jennifer.
Alan at 9:50am January 5
Good for you Jamie....It's the wedding wasn't it?!?!? :-)
Alan at 9:53am January 5
I don't remember dating Jamie but then again...he is a celebrity..
Autumn at 11:00am January 5
Hope you kept some of that Viagra. It might be expired so be sure to take two pills.
Patrick at 11:13am January 5
What's his name?
Patrick at 11:14am January 5
should have viewed all of the comments before I sent mine..murphy beat me to the punch
Misty at 11:32am January 5
Congratulations Jamie...Hope you are enjoying...Happy New Year!!
Jennifer at 11:43am January 5
You did do it even after all the teasing on Saturday!!!!!
Susi at 11:49am January 5
WHAT!!??
Allan at 12:02pm January 5
is it weird that 2 people wrote "what's his name"?
Chris at 12:08pm January 5
is this your way of telling me we're not going to the next thanksgiving dinner as a couple? (single tear)
Braley at 12:18pm January 5
Who has 19 comments for getting in a relationship!!!!! Nice job man!
Jamie Reidy at 12:21pm January 5
Must be a slow news day.
Debbie at 12:23pm January 5
I love learning about momentus occasions on facebook!
Tim at 12:43pm January 5
Hey, Jamie, what's his name?
Tim at 12:43pm January 5
Hat tip to Kathleen, who got there WAY before I did.
Julie at 1:38pm January 5
Wow. I went to make a comment and there were already 24 others! Guess I was late for the party! Anyhoo, good for you James...and I like the over/under comment best! :)
Tiffany at 1:40pm January 5
all this speculation is making me curious: is there a facebook equivalent to writing in pencil vs. pen?
Mercedeh at 2:00pm January 5
just another reinforcement that truly anything is possible.. congrats, dude
Maureen at 2:29pm January 5
I hope Jennifer's not on FB b/c this would probably give her (another) reason to kick you to the curb.
Tiffany at 2:36pm January 5
um, should clarify. announcing your relationship on Facebook *is* writing in pen.
Robert at 3:47pm January 5
Jamie what is his name?
Ashley at 3:59pm January 5
I am stunned :)....congrats!
Autumn at 4:06pm January 5
This should be your next blog. Not simply the topic of, I mean the actual blog~cut and paste. I have NEVER seen this many comments to a comment. You ARE a celebrity!
Jim at 4:07pm January 5
What the F? Please details...
John at 4:21pm January 5
Whatever.
Sonia at 5:43pm January 5
ahem...excuse me? i gotta hear this...
Sonia at 5:45pm January 5
i love that FOUR people asked you what his name was.
Katie at 5:58pm January 5
quoting joe - "she's a lucky girl, but does she know that my mom thinks you're a con artist?"
Christopher at 6:14pm January 5
all I got was a rock.....
Tedd at 6:30pm January 5
When I read this, I immediately checked the sky for flying pigs and clicked on Weather.com to see if hell had dropped below 32 degrees. DTR (Define the Relationship) on Facebook. Bold move. Congrats.
Mike at 6:34pm January 5
I just had my first "laugh out loud f-book moment" reading this.. forget blog, we're working toward movie #2
Katey at 7:04pm January 5
Oh this poor girl...I feel for her :) congrats!
Terry at 8:27pm January 5
Jake Reidy.....the only guy i know who can make the dreary monday after 2 weeks of holiday interesting - with a simple f-book update and the 40+ comments it inspired. Kudos. ....And all the best to you and your lady friend.
Greg at 9:06pm January 5
I wonder what ol' Jennifer thinks about the fact that everyone thinks this is so momentus....hmmmm
John at 11:05am January 6
People are making it sound as if Jamie's never been in a serious relationship before. I distinctly remember Jamie taking his last serious girlfriend to an opening weekend showing of "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York."
Carolyn at 2:04pm January 6
Wow, lucky girl! I was going to write a quick note that I was in St Joe's this weekend remembering some random dance we all attended many moons ago, but this list of comments is much more interesting. Congrat's to you, what did you used to write in your letters, God Speed