09/28/2015 02:54 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

My Love Letter To Failure


My dearest, darling Failure,

You don't mind if I call you by that name, do you?

I'm well aware that it's much more politically correct to refer to you on your visits as re-direction, contrast, disappointment and, of course, correction, blah, blah, blah.

But when shit hits the fan, when careers crash and burn, when marriages end badly; when we get fired, sued, or otherwise fucked over -- when the things we hold dearest in our lives fracture and give way under the stress -- sweetheart, it's YOUR face we all see at the scene of the crime.

I know, I hear you when you complain that you are greatly under-appreciated but let me be clear -- no one wants you around!

That being said, as I've come to know you better over the past few years, well, I have to admit-- I've fallen for you...hard.

I don't mean to sugar coat things, but you came into my life with the face of my foe and you have become my friend.

You shook things up for me BIG TIME. You took my tiny Etch-A-Sketch of a life, with all of its perfectly drawn straight lines, and you hurled it into an F5 tornado.

But I love you for that, ya big lug.

Just uttering your name, Failure, can set a person's teeth on edge, but please don't take it personally. I'll give it to you straight. The reason you're not welcome in our lives is because we're all terrified that when you show up you'll get comfortable, and never leave.

But truth be told, you are just as fleeting as success, THAT you've taught me.

When you are standing next to me knee-deep in the rubble of my life, you know what I do the next day? I get up and put one foot in front of the other, each step moving me forward.

You know what I do the days Success holds my hand? I get up, put one foot in front of the other and move forward with my life.

Success has its value -- don't get me wrong -- but you Failure, your lessons have marked me more deeply and profoundly than I could have ever imagined and I love you for that.

Success never caused me to grow, gave me depth nor made me an internally richer person.

But by God, you have Failure.

Success made me lazy, afraid to try new things and take chances.

You gave me a glimpse of my true nature.

You have delivered to me some of my most agonizing moments but they have transformed me.

You made me better. Better in business; better in life. A better friend, sister and wife.

Damn it, I love you man.

We all go to extraordinary lengths to avoid you--I know I did--but I realize now that was a mistake.

It's like trying to avoid aging, which is a similar double-edged sword and just as futile.
There are as many benefits to be gained from failure as there are from growing old, and BOTH are a privilege.

I truly love you Failure.
If you had not come into my life when you did, I would not be the person I am today.

Big hug and a sloppy kiss,