THE BLOG
01/28/2009 02:24 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

GOP Candidate Missed Connections

Dec. 5 - The cutie in Iowa City! - w4m

You were sitting with your advisor at the counter when my girlfriend and I came in for brunch. I LOVE Law & Order!! We locked eyes a beat too long for casual. I hoped you'd come over to chat, but your advisor kept forcing you to shake hands and kiss babies.

You fell asleep before we could exchange more. Still interested?

Dec. 5 - MAKE A MOVE ALREADY!! - m4m

Saw you at a rally in Cedar Rapids. I love 9/11 too!!! Was wearing Guns-4-Jesus poncho. Thought we made eye contact. Waited all night for you to make your move. Thought you were going to when you talked about sanctity of life. Let's go all the way!!! Constitutional Amendment banning abortion!

We're so close, baby...

Dec. 7 - One more try? - w4m

Hanging out at the Des Moines Shop-n-Stop. You said you were from Arkansas, loved Jesus, and hated brown people. I nodded and laughed. Then you pointed to the paper and asked what Iran is.

I believe in second chances. Let's do this.

Dec. 7 - Me too! - m4m

Saw you give speech on being different. I know that feeling!

You were cute with great hair! I'm not really into Merman, but will give her a try just for you! (I'm a Judy and Barbra guy myself...).

Do you work out? Call me.

Dec. 8 - Your motorcade drove by... - w4m

Thought you waved at me. I'm the cute one with short brown hair. BUT NOT MEXICAN!!! Hate them too. Let's build fences together. I'm waiting. Just say the word:

"NO ASYLUM!!!"

Take that Straight Talk Express to my heart. We could be so good together.

Dec. 10 - Dawn from Des Moines - w4m

Was staring intently at the sun. You said your name was Ron. Or Paul. You offered to help.

I said they were coming. You agreed. And then were forced into a car.

We speak the same language. Let's greet them together. Will be dumpster diving behind the Cracker Barrel off I-80.

External link: Poll Finds G.O.P. Field Isn't Touching Voters