THE BLOG
10/17/2014 03:03 pm ET Updated Dec 16, 2014

Sex, Violence, and Weight

And I could add sickness to that list.

What a culture focuses on is what it gets more of. Now, I'm not a conservative person when it comes to sex, but I think the whole porn world is gross. It degrades women and even the women who think they're not being degraded are. It's not like joyful, conscious, balanced people choose that industry. I think of the women who fought for us to vote in America, who wanted to be able to go to school, who wanted to have jobs that only men had. We're still trying to get paid the same salary. I think of the women across the world who still don't have those rights and cannot even voice their desire for them. I think porn isn't harmless for a man to be watching either. If he loves his wife, he doesn't need to watch another woman naked and having sex. I know marriage is complicated and some men may think their needs are not met because their wives are burnt out with work, kids, life. Maybe if they helped more or wooed her a little, the whole bedroom routine could shift. Simulated sex in movies is way different, cause it's fake, but depicts sex more realistically than porn. C'mon, real woman are not anything like that. As for racy ads on billboards, who cares, it's harmless and sensual. But since we see larger-than-life boobs overflowing from bras in those ads, no one should worry about women breastfeeding in public. The whole boob obsession/aversion is so weird.

Violence is glorified in media and it sells. It sells fear and ratings. You can't even check your email without the home page showing you the worst possible stories they can find. Yes, it's horrible that something bad happened to someone, but if you only look at the news, you would think it's not even worth living. I haven't watched a horror movie since the '90s cause having kids is scary enough, but beyond that it's TV violence that has desensitized people. How many crime shows do they really need? Don't people get sick of it? What if what you watched on TV was what you wanted to see more of in the world? Video games have become so gory. My kids have some of them too. I know there is a connection between these simulated crimes and many teens' aggression. It creates a disassociation with reality, it numbs their creativity and stops them from realizing their full potential if they spend hours in VideoGameWorld. There has to be a balance.

Weight issues are what fuels a billion dollar industry, right up there with porn. There is obesity that doesn't just plague people's bodies, but their lives and their whole being. The yo-yo people go through with the numbers on the scale is more than just calories. It's labeling foods good and bad, creating cycles of shame, reward, achievement, restriction, binge, and different sizes and self-worths. I've been 200 pounds and 110. Anyone can lose weight temporarily. Lifestyles changes create physical, but also mental and spiritual changes if you focus on wellness. Who cares if celebs lose the baby weight in 2 1/2 days. Weight looks different on each person, numbers lie. Eating organic, whole foods, non-GMO and exercising are what loving yourself actually "looks" like versus a size 2,4,6.

Added to that, like I said in the beginning, sickness could be added to the list, because our country feeds off the idea of sickness. If I didn't know the power of mindset and wellness, I would be paranoid and live in fear every day for me and my kids. Anxiety is so prevalent and it's no wonder. Take a look at the industries that make money off of you being sick and needing medicine. Of course go to the doctor if you're truly sick, but preventative medicine would save you money and make your whole quality of living better. Seriously, can you imagine if everyone limited their fast food, drank their green smoothies, took a meditation break at their desk, did a yoga class as a family, and gratitude was how we started out the school day? What if the morning network shows started out with ten things they were grateful for and everyone tweeted in theirs? What if we became a country not of division of political parties, religions, races, sexes, socioeconomic classes, but of heart-centered living and community? I sound like a hippie, I know, but would peace and working together be such a bad thing? Wouldn't it be better? Why wait for tragedies to start movements and join together to create a better world? What if people looked for common ground and what they did have in common? You see, I believe people are good, and I find them wherever I go. I am a helper and I find the helpers. I focus on the good. Are you? Do you focus on the negatives I listed? You can choose to think more positive. Anyone can.

I live in a different world than many, in that I don't believe in doom and gloom, I believe in hope and that things are getting better. You can look at upheavels in all areas as creating anew. Change is the mode of life, it's a given. You can focus on what you want to see more of in your life with what you spend your time, energy, attention, and thinking on. What are you focused on? What could you tweak in your own life? What beliefs could you reexamine? What could you let go of? Who could you forgive? What could you forgive yourself for? What do you want to create in your life? Ask yourself... what isn't working in my life anymore? What isn't serving me? What could I add to my life that would make it even better? What brings me true joy? What is my life's purpose? What one change could I make today that could create a domino effect in my life, my family, my home, and the world?

I dare ya!

Think outside the box. Be different. Focus higher.

P.S. For those who clicked on it because they thought sex may help you lose weight... it could. Stress makes it harder to lose weight not just with our feelings, moods, and mind overload, but with the release of stress hormones, as in cortisol. Clean up the stress in your life, improve your love life and a healthy weight is easy to maintain. And if you think you will need to lose weight first, that is just a belief. If you own it, that's sexy. A woman who is confident in who she IS, not based on her age or weight, is the most attractive thing in the world. If he doesn't get that honey, he doesn't get you, nor does he deserve you. There are plenty of good men out there that would cherish you.