12/03/2012 08:39 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Death and Texas

"Petitioners Renew Talk of Texas Secession" -- headline in The Texas Tribune

As I walked the streets of old Frito-Laredo,
I saw an old cowboy slumped in a chair
Facedown in a plate of spaghetti alfredo
He asked me for five thousand dollars to spare
Since WellsFargoTexas cut out Medicare.

"The cattle were downsized, they outsourced the cowboys
I lost my 401-K and my pension
We can't compete with Chinese or Macao boys
I've got no insurance and oh, did I mention
I've got a slipped disk and mild hypertension

"And President Perry just signed a law
That everyone now has to carry a gun
Unfortunately I'm getting slow on the draw
And in these boots it's not easy to run.

"I parked in a space that belonged to some stranger,"
The cowboy said, pausing to take a deep breath
"I need a cop or a Texaco Ranger.
I've just been shot and I'm bleeding to death."

"Sorry old pardner, but here in the Lone Star
Here by the Rio Home Depot/Dell Grande
The rule is that each of us follows his own star
Go back to America if you want a hand."