07/31/2014 02:38 pm ET Updated Sep 30, 2014

Defining How to Have It All


It's definitely not easy to wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, head to an incredible job, leave at a normal time, put together a healthy and delicious dinner, and find some "you" time without sacrificing either work or life. Like the likes of many out there, "you just cannot have it all." Well, I think you can.

I know my idol Sheryl Sandberg can go on a rant about why women cannot have it all because she just does not think that concept even exists, but I think it depends upon how you define having it all. For example, having it all right now, to me, means heading to a job I love each day, going for a bike ride when I get home, kick-boxing whenever a class pops up, sharing a few glasses of wine with my best friends, dating a gentleman, and buying those shoes because they're cute... all at the same time. And, in fact, I am able to do that. I'm 21 years old, if I was not doing that, I'd be concerned.

However, flash forward 10 years when I may be settling down with a family of my own and what will having it all mean to me then? Although I cannot answer that to you truthfully because, well, I'm just not there yet, I can try and comprehend how 31-year-old Jessica will define having it all. If I had to guess, I'd say it means having or at least preparing to have two healthy beautiful children, coming home to a husband who loves the sh*t out of me each day, working a job that I just simply love, reading a sophisticated newspaper each morning (just go with it), taking yoga classes every weekend, traveling around every few months, and continuing to have a passion for kick boxing.

It's how I define having it all. I challenge you to fight off all the noise around you yelling, whispering, and reminding you that you cannot have it all. I challenge you to define what having it all means to you and finding a balance of that in your life. It probably is impossible to have a perfect family, a perfect job, and a perfect social life. But, I don't think people are naive to truly want all of that. When challenging yourself to define what having it all means to you, be realistic about it. You may not be able to eat cake all day and still maintain a healthy body weight for your figure but you probably can work hard enough to get that promotion and still meet up with the girl's every Thursday for happy hour.

How should you start to figure out how to define having it all? Start with keeping close everything that brings positivity into your life and push out what does not. By simply doing that, you're going to realize what in your life makes you most happy -- isn't that what having it all means? Depends how you define it.