THE BLOG
10/02/2014 04:42 pm ET Updated Dec 02, 2014

Fake It 'Till You Make It

Thomas Vogel via Getty Images

Right now, in my 20s, I think it's pretty obvious that a lot of my friends (and me) are just going through a lot of change, trial and error, and figuring out what we want. Don't get me wrong, our 20s are totally fun, sexy, and full of adventure, but the in-between is total crap.

There's a lot of stress -- like remember that time half of us had jobs and the other half were, like, totally standing on the side wondering if that company was ever going to call? Or how about how half of us just entered long-term-distance relationships and the other half got flat-out dumped? What about the half of us who have to pay bills and the other half who are paying bills and counting down until next month when those dreaded student loans start too?

Stress.

There's a lot of change too -- half of us are trying to figure out how to adjust back to our parents' house rules, and the other half are trying to adjust to now doing everything on our own. Half of us just realized we wanted to redefine ourselves by starting new, while the other half of us are still trying to figure out who we are in the first place. Oh and did I mention we all just left Utopia, aka college, and are now real people living in the real world?

Change.

There's also a lot of room for trial -- everyone says your 20s are for discovering yourself and figuring out what you want. They make it sound so comfortable and seamless. What they cease to tell you is that you're going to make a thousand mistakes and you're going to say, "ooookay, on to plan B" a lot.

So what's so cool about all of this? That's where us 20-somethings have to just start faking it 'till we make it.

Honest to God this works.

Just think about it: You have a huge presentation coming up that you're nervous for. You'd rather stick pine needles in your eyes than stand in front of your director with sweaty palms. Well, tell yourself a hundred times that you're going to do amazing. Guess what happens when you stand up? See ya' nervousness, hello confidence.

Faking it 'till you make it is all about imitating that confidence, that absolutely does not exist anywhere, until it produces some real, and I mean real, confidence.

Yes, we're totally stressed, but if we just keep telling ourselves that we will figure it out, that the interview will turn into an offer and that blazer will get dry-cleaned, that the ex kind of sort of sucked anyways, and that student loans will disappear eventually, then one day we're going to wake up and all of that will hold true.

Yes, we're going through a lot of change but if we start pretending we know how to control it all, then eventually it will hold true too.

Fake it 'till you make it.

Challenge yourself over the next month to imitate that confidence in whatever it is you are having trouble with. Our 20s can still be fun, sexy, and adventurous -- take advantage of that, because unfortunately all this other crap will follow us through each decade.