THE BLOG
11/08/2010 11:25 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Dos & Don'ts of Divorce

The D Word can be as devastating for some as it is liberating for others, but whatever side of the picket fence you're on, it's bound to be at the very least incredibly disappointing. Marriages start out full of joy and hope, but these days, divorce is about as common and ugly as Botox and lip injections, so we're here to make the recovery period just as painless. Our books (How to Eat Like a Hot Chick, How to Love Like a Hot Chick, and Live Like a Hot Chick) are all about helping women feel like confident, empowered Hot Chicks in every part of their lives, so here are our dos and don'ts to help you do so even if you're contemplating, mourning, or smack dab in the middle of a divorce.

1) Do Know That You Are a Hot Chick
A Hot Chick is a confident, empowered, passionate woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. Divorce can mess with your confidence, make you feel LSE (Low Self Esteem), and leave you wondering if any man will ever want you ever again. Well, trust us, they will! You are a beautiful, powerful, capable, successful woman, and being divorced is nothing to be ashamed of. You found love once (even if it didn't last), and you will find it again if you stay positive and pro-active.

2) Don't Act Crazy
If the decision to divorce wasn't exactly mutual, you might be tempted to stalk, throw dishes, leave nasty phone messages, or act out some Carrie Underwood lyrics, but this is not a good idea. Doing this will only justify his reasons for leaving you and get you nothing except maybe a restraining order. Instead, help yourself (and him) see how much this divorce is his loss by acting like the savvy, together Hot Chick that you are. Use all of your hurt, hateful energy on something that's good for you like a kickboxing class or a new affair!

3) Do Trust Your Gut
If you're still in a relationship but are beginning to question things, trust that keen womanly intuition of yours. That gut feeling that knows when your baby is going to cry ten minutes before she does and recognizes a life-changing friend the minute you meet her is the same one that whispers, "WTF, girl?" when your relationship is slowly going south. If you're feeling disrespected, unappreciated, and unloved, or the idea of spending eternity with this person is beginning to provoke anxiety attacks, don't ignore your intuition. It might just be telling you that it's time for counseling or a much needed date night, but if you ignore it, you might end up headed for divorce.

4) Don't Give Up Too Soon
Yes, divorce is a fact of life these days, but you should at least try to avoid it. If things aren't going well in your relationship, you need to put on your big girl panties, strap on your balls (or whatever image works for you) and fight, fight, fight for that marriage! You did vow to stay together until death, so you should do everything you can to stay together until you feel like you're dying from trying so hard. If it still doesn't work, at least you can go to the courthouse knowing that you did everything you could and move on with no regrets.

5) Do Know That You Deserve Love
In case you forgot, we want to remind you one more time that you are a Hot Chick who deserves true love. Yes, even the best relationships suck sometimes, and marriage is definitely not always a walk in the park, but don't let a nasty divorce make you forget that you deserve the #1 basic human need (other than chocolate) - love - and you will find it again.