Romney and Santorum Vie for Key "Working Class Conservatives Who Keep Voting for Right-Wing Politicians Who Hate the Working Class" Demographic

As the race for the GOP nomination enters the home stretch, sources say the campaign strategies of both Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum are now aggressively targeting the all-important demographic of conservative working class voters who like Republicans who hate them.

Said one Santorum campaign staffer:

"Unlike his fellow contenders, Rick is well aware that the modern GOP owes much of its political success to the ostensibly adversarial blue-collar worker's selfless renunciation of their own economic well-being by voting Republican. Furthermore, he considers their quality of life sacrifice in supporting the right-wing agenda to be a mandate for him to be the best 'GOP candidate who is adroit at hiding a lifelong contempt for the laboring class behind a smokescreen of crassly politicized social issues' he can be."

When asked about the relative appeal of the two candidates to working class Republicans, who are eager to embrace whichever nominee is the most conservative and therefore hates them most, a Romney campaign aide responded:

"There's no contest here -- did you know that back in the 1980s, while Mitt was busy putting tens of thousands of people out of work through his M & A efforts, Rick Santorum was an attorney lobbying to exempt the World Wrestling Federation from federal anabolic steroid regulation? So you tell me who cares less about the needs of the working class."