THE BLOG
02/11/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Really Bad Love Poems Of The Stars

A new poet burst on to the scene this past week. One Jennifer Aniston, whose talents were on display in Star Magazine in the form of an untitled love poem she'd written to boyfriend John Mayer.

"Lucky in love, lucky in love
Didn't forget me when I asked you to leave me
Didn't forget me
Now you're alongside me
You've brought luck to love
I've been hit by a truck in love."

"Hit By a Truck" would be a good title for the poem, actually. Mayer reportedly surprised Aniston by setting her poem to music, though he altered a few lines to make it more "lyrical" (read: less crappy). For his sake, I hope this is the unaltered version.

Aniston joins a proud tradition of celebrities whose romantic verse has been accidentally leaked--or in her case, probably released--to the media. Last New Year's, an entrepreneurial diner picked up a scrap of paper Kate Moss left on the floor of a restaurant bathroom that turned out to be a poem from her drug-addled boyfriend Pete Doherty. Doherty had written the poem on the back of a menu.

"As we go into 2007, it feels like we're in heaven. Pete wearing his black hat and Kate in white silk."

Moss, judging by where she left the poem, was unimpressed. Not that her poetry for him--some of which she published on the website "Full Moon Empty Sportsbag"--is anything to shout about. In one, she laments all the attention Doherty pays to his posse.

"You love them more than you love me
So that's why I could cry all day long
that's why I can't breathe"

They two have (thankfully) since broken up.

Another love poem making news recently was penned by Pink Floyd cofounder Roger "Syd" Barrett to his sweetheart at the time, a girl named Viv Brans. Barrett called it "A chapter in Verse '... they flatter her madly." Compared to Aniston, he reads like a poet laureate.

"Little twig isn't big
To you, but she is
To me.
But however I don't like it
When she makes faces.
And she seldom talks
When we go to places
And meet people
And sit around.
But she prances at dances
Gets crushes, takes chances
With boys, wears a hat
No shoes, and they flatter her
Madly. What of that?
Neat, maroon, blue and white
Lace and chord, velvet. Might
Even keep her coat on if its right.
Next week
All change
To purple
Or black
Perhaps"

After Barrett's death, Brans auctioned off the poem for about 4,600 british pounds--more than 7,000 (!) dollars. It goes to show that if you're hoping to make money with poetry--and maybe they should call this "The Jewel Rule"--get famous for something else first.

As for Doherty, just last week, the rocker reportedly said of his ex: "I miss her so much. I don't even read the papers because of her, I can't look at her. I miss Kate. I can't f**king do anything."

If he really wants her back, here's suggesting he try something other than writing her a poem.