It's very easy to fall into a "poor me, nobody loves me, I'm going to go eat worms" state of mind when you don't have any invitations for the holidays. Alternatively, you could choose to enjoy your holidays anyway. It's all in how you see it and who you hold accountable for the situation. Here are some strategies that might help you sort your situation out and maybe, just maybe, have your best holiday season yet.
- Avoid the blame game: It is so easy and automatic for most people to look at being alone for the holidays as wrong, unacceptable, and a prescription for unhappiness, but it doesn't need to be that way. Being alone -- whether because of a family feud, no one thinking to invite you, or the death of a loved one with whom you would have shared the holiday -- can be a blessing in disguise. So, be open to the possibility that this could be a good thing and nobody's "fault." Blaming yourself or others for being alone only makes matters worse and wastes a lot of your precious energy in negative thoughts and feelings. So save the energy you would otherwise have expended on blaming and judging yourself and others and put it to better use. This may be an entirely new experience for you, but that doesn't mean it has to be unpleasant.
- A free day or weekend that you weren't expecting to have. You can sleep late, be lazy if you wish, clean out a closet, go to the movies, read a great book, or just follow the path of serendipity.
Regardless of what activities you engage in over the holidays, be sure to take the time to
connect in your heart to the spirit of the holidays. For example, on Thanksgiving, whether with a crowd or by yourself, dive into the wellspring of gratitude for all you do have in your life and allow yourself to sense the oneness with others who will be acknowledging their blessings as well. My wish for you is that you treasure yourself and take the very best care of yourself possible... and have some fun!
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