11/21/2014 04:26 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Grey's Anatomy Recap: McDreamy and Meredith Are Finished in 'Risk'

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Season 11, Episode 8 of ABC's Grey's Anatomy, titled "Risk."

I will not even front: I sat, mouth agape, during that entire last scene. I know, I know, I always want people to just go, go, and do what they want. Be yourself! But not Derek! He doesn't get to just go. Why can't he just start being nicer and not a jerk? She tells him to just go and he calls her bluff. That is some real relationship stuff right there.

Then the tie-in flashbacks to her mother calling out for Richard. And the flashbacks of her and him just took my little heart and squeezed the bejesus out of it. What are we going to do?

I know, I know that she's the sun. Yang is totally right. But Meredith needs a person, or maybe I just have an anxious attachment style. I don't even know anymore but if we don't pick up in January like ten years later when everyone is happy and glad they left each other and Zola has another hot dad or something, I don't know what I'll do.

McDreamy and Meredith could be over. I think Shonda would do that to them to. She also just up and took Olivia away last night but that's another recapper's problem.

In other news, who cares what happened to anyone else last night? McDreamy and Meredith, gone, like your memory after a night of drinking tequila with Callie.

Traumatic: like the fact that April and Jackson's baby has a fatal disorder and fancy Geena Davis doesn't even think there's anything that can be done.

Hopeful: Amelia might be able to fix Geena Davis' brain tumor, but Arizona will have to admit to spilling her beans.

Are Karev and Jo the new "it" couple? They are pretty cute.

But back to what matters: Derek and Meredith! Opinions on plot twists, please! It's the only way we'll make it to January.

Mourn with me@karenfratti

"Grey's Anatomy" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.