07/23/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda - The Spell of Regret


Are these the names of three girls in the latest pop band? I wish....

More like the three Wicked Witches of the West -- that would be a better description (and I don't have anything against witches in general!) The three Wicked Witches that often take over our minds and cast a terrible spell on most of us.

The spell? The Spell of Regret.

This spell is potent and its largest side effect is the incessant need to look backwards. Of course, looking backwards can have some benefits -- the key is to keep those backward glances short and focused on solutions. However, this is not what this wicked Spell of Regret creates. The Spell of Regret insists that even when something incredible happens we regret it not happening sooner, faster, easier, etc. (The coulda, woulda and shoulda's).

What a waste! The Spell of Regret creates a mindset that we did something wrong or were, somehow, not good enough. Even that were true -- so what? Get over it!

What happens instead and what Law of Attraction dictates is that we keep attracting more things to regret and we stay on a Wicked Witch Merry-Go-Round that keeps us stuck in one place.

The 'theeling' of regret can be very strong and therefore is a very powerful attractor.

A powerful attractor of what? More things to regret. We stay stuck and we wonder why.

Who wants that?

So, what do you do about it?

First, eliminate the coulda, shoulda and woulda's from your vocabulary and your energy and don't replace them with anything similar!

Start acknowledging the great things that happen and when the lousy things happen -- learn from it, appreciate the lesson and say with glee 'what's next?!'

You'll get unstuck and start attracting great things!