07/28/2007 03:06 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Great Moments In The "Black Kid Did It!" History

Every couple of years, the "Black kid" gets blamed for some random crime by some random White person.

Now Lindsay Lohan is that random White person. Lindsay has played the race card. She claimed that the "Black kid" was driving after she got pinched for a DUI. I wonder how long before she claims it was the "Black kid's" coke in the "Black kid's" pants?

I'm actually surprised the Bush administration hasn't tried the "Black kid did it" defense to explain that it was the "Black kid" who hid the missing WMDs; that is was the "Black kid" who outed Valerie Plame; and it was the "Black kid" who fired those pesky US attorneys.

Although, truth be told, the White House really did have some "Black kid" do it.

Remember the President Bush's chief domestic policy advisor and GOP homophobe Claude Allen? First, Allen "resigned to spend time with his family?" Later, Jesse Helm's former spokesman, pled guilty to scamming Target out of $5000 worth of stuff over twenty-five visits to the store. Allen ultimately blamed Hurricane Katrina for his sticky fingers. Heck of a job, Claudie!

Twenty-five visits to Tarjay to scam $5000? Refund theft seems like a lot of work for a little return. Allen really could have used some coaching from the likes of fellow GOP homophobe Duke Cunningham. Duke got $2.4 M. At least Duke got hookers, his yacht the "Duke Stir" and a "1850 Louis Phillipe" commode.

There are other infamous moments in the "Black Kid did it" history. Who can forget Susan Smith? With her, "the Black kid carjacked me and took my kids!" defense. Smith repented by getting busy behind bars. Or Charles Stuart, with his "the Black kid shot and killed my pregnant wife! Luckily, he just grazed me!"

The "Black kid did it" defense even inspired a South Park episode, where Butter's mom blamed the "Puerto Rican" guy. In the movie, Freedomland starring Samuel L. Jackson and Julianne Moore, Moore used the "Black Neighborhood did it" defense when her kid went missing.

Unfortunately sometimes Black people also use this tired, old ploy. They call it "looking for the real killer".