You Are Not Your Upper Arm Fat! A Lesson for Women From Marie Forleo

Marie not only had to let go of control of how she looked, she also had to let go of the commentary about it. Successful people let go of the small stuff, like bad hair days, wrinkles, and arm jiggle.
05/20/2016 02:59 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017
Carefree woman outside tents at music festival
Carefree woman outside tents at music festival

Named by Oprah as a thought leader for the next generation, Marie Forleo is the creator of the award-winning online show MarieTV, founder of B-School and has been featured in Inc. Magazine and Entrepreneur Magazine, among others. She coaches women and business owners on how to build a life and business they love, growing MarieForleo.com into one of Forbes.com's Top 100 Websites for Entrepreneurs.

After sitting down with Marie, I would call her "granola" though, if you watch one of her videos on MarieTV, that word does not come to mind. I'm using it here as another word for earthy, hippie, free spirit, someone who may go au naturel. So why am I applying "Down to earth, no-nonsense, practical, pragmatic, sensible" to a glamorous online television host with impeccable hair, glowing skin, and a killer wardrobe?

2016-05-17-1463492783-4157542-MarieForleoBusinessAdvice.jpg

Because in "real life" Marie is more the former than the latter. Our interview was scheduled at the last minute, on the launch day of her flagship program, B School. I was ecstatic about this one, as I've been a MarieTV fan for years. When we showed up to her California home, she had no hair and make up team, unusual for the women I interview. I expected her glamsquad to pop out and start making her over, but they did not. Like myself, she did her own hair, make up, and wardrobe for the interview.

Why does this matter?

Let me say it clearly: it doesn't.

But you wouldn't know that based on the comments and questions to Marie, and about Marie, from other women.

2016-05-17-1463493468-2487645-AriannaHuffingtonRedefiningSuccess.jpg

One of the most common question she's asked is about the production quality of her videos. People often comment about her stylish dresses and amazing hair, some in praise, and some claiming she's no longer "approachable."

As Marie discussed this during the interview, she got fired up, and so did I.

If those are the kinds of questions other female entrepreneurs are asking, they clearly don't "get it."

Get what, you ask?

Get that she can better focus on adding value and creating incredible content -- you know, one of the driving forces to the growth of her business -- when she's not stressed about what to wear.

Get that doing 13 videos in a row is smarter than one video at a time, and for hair and make up to last for hours upon hours, assistance is required.

Get that the content itself clearly speaks louder than the brightest of bright wardrobe ensembles, because hundreds of thousands tune in to her each week.

Get that if a man had a team that helped pick his suits and powder his nose for a day of shooting, no one would comment.

Get that if a man decided to build a sweet set and start creating videos in batches everyone would talk about the keen business decision rather than his "approachability."

Get that if Steve Jobs could save time each day by wearing the exact thing, to focus on changing the world with his work, so can a woman. And to do so is genius because decision fatigue is real. Plus, when the iPhone came out no one gave a crap about what Steve was wearing on stage that day, did they?

Women, please get this. We are more than how we look on screen, or what other women *say* about how we look on screen.

I want you at your best, putting your best work out into the world, and I want you to care less about what you look like when you're doing it. I want you to minimize stress about this, whether through establishing a wardrobe, outsourcing shopping or hiring a team. Find something that works for you. The more I set a uniform for myself, the less stressed I am before shooting videos, the quicker and easier I can shop, the more time and energy I save for what matters. Do I still care what I look like? Of course! Do aesthetics matter in today's culture? Yes. Do I pick myself apart on screen when I have to edit or preview my video content? You better believe it. The difference is I've stopped letting a bad hair day eternalized on film keep me from posting a video, which yes, I used to do. I've stopped letting upper arm fat keep me from waving my arms in excitement because I'm so passionate about the message I'm sharing. I've stopped giving that negative voice in my head so much space and time.

Successful people know that the higher they climb, the less weight they want on their backs.

Marie had so much other amazing information that she shared in her interview, this topic was only a few minutes, but I feel like it deserves a second glance. Marie not only had to let go of control of how she looked, she also had to let go of the commentary about it. Successful people let go of the small stuff, like bad hair days, wrinkles, and arm jiggle - and snarky comments about said small stuff on their videos. That's a lesson for the rest of us, especially us women. Give yourself permission to focus on your work, your mission, your unique message. Because whatever it is, the world needs to hear it. ♥︎

KelseyHumphreysMarieForleo.png

Watch the inspiring video interview with Marie Forleo at thepursuit.tv/marieforleo.

This post originally appeared on KelseyHumphreys.com.