08/22/2007 01:48 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Fall Movie Preview

After a summer of threequels, CGI storytelling, family fare/torture porn it's time to move into the season of human drama, complex themes, and character studies -- in other words, Oscar hopefuls. Here's a preview of some of the fare you'll be subjected to this Fall. This should give you some idea of what to see or miss. I summarize so that you don't have to:

THE KINGDOM -- Jaimie Foxx in a high-voltage political thriller set in Saudi Arabia. It cost $70 million, the same as STARDUST. But instead of cute unicorns frolicking they gun down jihadists.

RUN, FATBOY, RUN -- A guy who's not really fat enters a marathon. Does he even really run? Title should be WALK FAST, BEER BELLY, WALK FAST.

LEATHERHEADS -- George Clooney stars, co-writes, and directs this romantic comedy about pro football in the 20s. Should hold football fans until Michael Vicks stars in LONGEST YARD 2.

3:10 TO YUMA -- Either a western or the American Eagle flight you don't want to be on.

THE JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB -- Jane Austen movies are becoming their own genre. Next summer expect Mike Myers to star in JANE AUSTEN POWERS.

KING OF CALIFORNIA -- Michael Douglas as a crazy person who believes there's gold buried under the local Costco. Shovels are on aisle 23 and jackhammers are on aisle 16.

IN THE SHADOW OF THE MOON -- Documentary on the men who walked on the moon. Interviews with Buzz Aldrin before his recent face lift. Oh how he misses those days of zero gravity!

LUST, CAUTION -- I worry about any film with "Caution" right there in the title. Ang Lee returns after BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN with more standard fare: A Chinese language WWII espionage love story set in Shanghai. Starring Joan Chen, not to be confused with Julie Chen who hosts Big Brother.

SYDNEY WHITE -- Amanda Bynes in a college fairy tale. Features Dopey, Cokey, Roofy, Cheney, Bong, Animal, and Ryan Seacrest.

ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE -- Sequel to ELIZABETH. She's back and this time she's pissed!!

VIRGIN TERRITORY -- A romantic comedy set during the Black Plague. I hope they don't just go for the easy laughs.

LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA -- Sounds like the same subject matter as VIRGIN TERRITORY.

ENCHANTED -- Clever idea. A Disney animated princess comes to life. Starring Amy Adams. She finds it hard to live in a world where people flee at the sound of Alan Menken songs.

SAW IV -- This time Jigsaw takes a job as a Benihana chef.

STEPHEN KING'S THE MIST -- People face the sheer terror of their glasses fogging up.

LOOKING FOR CHEYENNE -- A film about French Lesbians. Opens November 16. I've already got my ticket.

CASSANDRA'S DREAM -- Woody Allen's 38th film. Hopefully his 15th good one.

SWEENEY TODD -- Tim Burton adapts Stephen Sondheim's masterpiece. With Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter (duh), Alan Richman, and Sacha Baron Cohen. My question: Can Helena Bonham Carter (Burton's girlfriend) sing? Or even bake?

YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH -- Francis Ford Coppola directs his first movie in ten years. Financed by his winery. There was going to be a big car chase scene but the 2005 Zinfandel crop was disappointing.


THE DARJEELING LIMITED -- The title says it all.

MICHAEL CLAYTON -- George Clooney in a complex legal drama. If it sells four tickets expect a TV version with Ron Livingstone.

DAN IN REAL LIFE -- Steve Carell in a triangle love story involving his brother. Stay for the closing credits where he apologizes for EVAN ALMIGHTY.

LAKE OF FIRE -- Director Tony Kaye's 17 year examination of abortion. Good luck to the marketing department.

I'M NOT THERE -- A Bob Dylan biopic but with a twist. Several different people portray him, including Heath Ledger (okay), Christian Bale (okay I guess), Cate Blanchett (a bit of a stretch), and Richard Gere (WHAT??!).

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL -- Ryan Gosling falls in love with a wheelchair-bound plastic "girlfriend". Tara Reid as the plastic doll. But only after seven callbacks

TRADE -- Human sex trafficking in Mexico City. Fortunately not directed by the Farrelly Brothers.

WALK HARD -- Another Judd Apatow comedy, this one starring John C. Reilly as a six-decade rock star. FORREST GUMP meets VIVA LAS VEGAS. The only movie I'd see before this is the one about the French Lesbians.

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